Enigma of Sin

Days passed by quickly as Kayn helped Horace and Est prepare their farm for winter. However, besides helping them and playing with his sister, it would be a lie to say that he didn't spend most of his time crying in the room they had provided to him.

As the peaceful atmosphere of the farm set in more and more, his depression only grew stronger. He felt no motivation to do anything other than taking care of his sister and helping out the family. He was once again having nightmares because of this new trauma, but only now he didn't have his mother to comfort him, which only made him more depressed.

He missed his mother the most, but the antics and goofy smiles of his sister vanishing from his life forever didn't help. She would always bring a certain joyful atmosphere wherever she was and always brought a smile to Kayn's face.

He often thought about Clementine while playing with or taking care of Lara. Their features were the exact opposite of each other, one taking after each parent, but they were both his sisters.

Kayn loved and respected his father. Ezekiel was tough on him, but his mischievous nature with only his family around was a sight to behold. Watching his mother scold his father for acting like a child was always an amusing scene for Kayn.

All of these thoughts would only bring Kayn further into his downward spiral as he thought about how he wouldn't experience any of that anymore. What bothered him even more was the fact that his sister was now going to grow up without any of those experiences to start with. Plus, how was he supposed to explain everything to her once she was old enough to understand?

And so, day after day, he would perform his duties and take care of his sister, but most days soft sobbing noises could be heard from his room when he was alone.

…

A month had passed and winter arrived. On this particular day both Est and Horace were standing outside of Kayn's room while both of the children were asleep already. They couldn't help but notice the crying sounds that would emanate from his room every night and as time went on, the smile he displayed with his sister even vanished.

"This is more serious than we thought, his mood is dropping by the day and no matter what we try, he barely even smiles. It's like his mind isn't even here anymore and he's just acting based on the routine he built." Est sighed as she tried to imagine the scene beyond the door.

"You're right, but I don't have any better ideas to help him than you haven't already tried. He's warmed up to you quite well and he's friendly with me, but he doesn't seem to want to open up to us." Horace replied.

"Well, we have to try something. With winter here, the time spent inside will only increase as the temperature drops. We can't allow him to stay inside of his room cooped up all day mourning. He already helps out with the daily chores and is even responsive when I teach him things about taking care of Lara in the future, but other than that, nothing interests him."

Est paused for a moment in thought before coming to a decision. "Let's have a heart to heart with him and see if we can find what he is passionate about. Maybe we can get him to distract his mind enough with something he likes in order to help him see the light at the end of the tunnel?"

"I agree, but I'm not sure how I can help." Horace hung his head as he wanted to be of use somehow too.

"All young men should have a masculine influence in their life, and you're as manly as I could wish for." Est gave a sheepish grin while glancing up and down her husband's body.

"Est, now isn't the time for that. This is serious." Horace gave his wife a disappointed look.

However, Est was quick to argue her point, "And so am I! Isn't it about time we started trying to give Titus a sibling? I don't want him growing up as an only child, and we both know how long it took us to have him in the first place."

It wasn't like the two hadn't been intimate since his birth, but they definitely hadn't since Lara and Kayn arrived. They had been careful since their home wasn't exactly sound proof, as shown by them hearing Kayn's crying.

Horace grinned lewdly before sweeping his wife off of her feet and carrying her into their bedroom before closing the door. Inside of the other room, Kayn could hear part of what they said before tuning the rest out.

'Something I'm passionate about huh? They're right, a distraction would be good. Maybe now is the time to finally look into that box Mom gave me.'

…

 The next morning when Est and Horace left their room to take care of their morning chores, they noticed Kayn coming back inside from the outdoors. There was even snow coming down behind him, so Kayn quickly closed the door after he entered to prevent too much cold from coming into the home.

Seeing the couple staring at him like he was stupid for being outside he meekly smiled, "Ah, I was taking a run around the farm. I decided it was best to get back into a routine for my mental health. Running and physical training help me to clear my mind."

Just as Est was about to run and grab a blanket, she noticed the steam coming off of Kayn indicating that he had to be somewhat warm. "But isn't it too cold to be running outside?"

"Ah, it's not that bad for me. Regulating my body temperature isn't too difficult as a healer." Kayn only made up a reasonable excuse that they would believe. He didn't want to get into the fact he could use fire elemental mana to keep his body warm.

While he didn't really mind if they knew about all of his affinities as from what he could understand, most commoners who didn't have a hint of magic in them weren't aware of the limitations of mages. He was fairly positive they had no clue what elements he had used when he healed them aside from assuming he was using light magic.

"Well, that's good to know," Horace replied. "Just don't overdo it out there, okay?"

"I'll be alright, it's good for me. Give me a couple of minutes to clean up and change, then I'll make us all breakfast." Kayn smiled as he spoke and walked past them and to his room.

Horace and Est looked at each other with unspoken questions flowing between the two. The Kayn they saw this morning was vastly different to the Kayn they had seen deteriorating mentally the last month. He was even smiling!

They didn't realize it, but to Kayn, restarting his morning routine was a big step for him. Running and working through the martial forms he learned from his mother worked wonders in soothing his mind and clearing his thoughts.

The sorrow was still there, but Kayn needed to dig himself out of that pit if he was going to take care of his sister the way he wanted to. Kayn could leave his sister here with this loving family while he did what he needed to, but he would never do that and the thought only came into his head momentarily before being pushed out.

While some could argue that leaving her in a safer and loving family environment would be better for her and the responsible thing to do, he would never leave his sister behind like that. His mother asked him to raise her in their place, and he wasn't about to break the promise he didn't have the chance to say out loud to her.

Plus, he didn't think it would be good for his mental health either to focus purely on hunting people down, not to mention the revenge he would surely take one day. He knew it was selfish, but Lara would be able to keep him balanced. His family wasn't completely gone, and it was his responsibility to take care of it now.

Kayn had obtained a few sets of Horace's old clothing and some spare shoes from the couple, so he took off the clothes he trained in, cleaned himself off with tier 0 magic, and put on a fresh set before returning to the kitchen to make a nice warm soup and an egg dish.

There were a lot of similar ingredients here as on Earth, so he was able to make dishes he remembered from Earth that had a similar taste if he could find the right ingredients. Though there was a much larger variety of farm animals, the animals and their eggs and milk tasted close enough as well. While the names of chickens and cows and their species were slightly different, it wasn't enough for Kayn to think of them any differently than he used to.

After breakfast, Kayn checked in on Lara who was still sleeping soundly in the crib placed in his room before sitting on his bed in a lotus position. He hadn't practiced the Void Star in over a month, and even it if caused him some pain, it would help bring him comfort that he was making strides towards his goals once again as his core grew stronger.

After practicing the technique to where he felt it was too dangerous to continue, he checked on his sister again. She was lying awake in the crib now, but hadn't uttered a single sound, and was just staring at him between the bars surrounding her.

Kayn smiled as he picked her up before taking her out to the living room where he could see Est playing with Titus. Est knew what Kayn was about to ask and walked over to Kayn before lightly taking Lara and nodding to Kayn. It was time to feed Lara.

Respecting her privacy, Kayn left for his room again and shut the door. Finally, his mind was clear enough that he could focus on what he wanted to do. He placed his bag on the bed before taking out a small black box that was ornately decorated.

Steeling his nerves as it was difficult to not becoming filled with sorrow upon thinking about this being the last gift he would receive from his mother, he opened the lid.