Elegy: Lost Shadow

I wonder why I am starting to doubt it. What is it that I want to feel?

 "Where exactly in Ganase are we going? " Anemone asked as the wagon stumbled from the bumpy road. It took all she had just to keep the wagon stable. Her blades, which were placed on the side, released wind to ensure that it wouldn't fall on either side. Considering how fast they were moving, one mistake and it would tumble over.

 "I told you before…..it's the main market. I have a regular customer there," Kano replied, tightly gripping the wagon's sides. If he were to let go, he would fall over and crush violently into the ground.

 "I am asking which part of the market exactly; isn't about fifty percent of Ganase just the main market? The whole central part is one big market. If you told me exactly where we are going, I could try choosing a shorter route of getting there. It would be very efficient Considering the fact that it is getting late."

 He replied, "Even if I told you right now, it wouldn't matter. You must have forgotten that Ganase has only one entrance; that's the northern gate. Every other part is sealed off."

 The kingdom of Conflagraflaria is known throughout as the Agricultural central. This is because of its fertile land, sufficient water bodies and a forest rich in game. It is an overall environment that invites Agricultural activities such as farming and animal husbandry.

 These traits are what have earned it its mark as the Agricultural central among the ten kingdoms.

 ...

 They finally arrived at Ganase's main market. Even though it was dusk, it was very crowded as it appeared as though business had only just begun. In fact, this was when some places were opening. Particularly, bars and inns.

 The large number of people only served to make Anemone's job that much more difficult as she had to carefully navigate through them. Not only that, it was also a waste of time considering the fact that they were in a hurry.

 "Stop here," he said as he pointed at an inn that was left of them. She looked at the top of the entrance which read, "Fortune's Vitus." That's quite the name.

 The inn was a four story building. Its walls were a combination of wood and concrete and glass windows were visible for each room. All the rooms were really bright which had Anemone thinking for a bit.

 They stopped by the inn's entrance. Immediately they did, they got off only to notice the long line they had to wait through. "I don't think that line is going anywhere anytime soon," she said before she sighed.

 "Let's just use the back," he suggested as he tried to push the wagon. It moved though it was more trouble than he had imagined.

 "Are you sure that will be okay?"

"It should be fine…..I mean this place is owned by Mr. Vito. Though that's what I call him, he is actually my uncle."

 They went to the back of the building. There, they found a waiter who sat by the entrance. He was busy doing the dishes. "You must be here for Mr. Vito. This is the latest you have been since you started." He said as he placed the ceramic plate in the basket.

 "I am," Kano replied, " So; may I go in."

"No, that won't be necessary. He already knows that you are here."

 As they were talking, Anemone was looking inside the inn. She was still wondering what the light source was. In most houses or places, the light source is either some flame of sort or floubulbs. But in a building that big, it couldn't be either.

 To illuminate a building that big, one would require a lot of floubulbs and flames were out of the question. Burning and all.

Floubulbs are really expensive because they have to be transported from the Bryallogy Mangiphyrm Kingdom where they are mass produced. They also have a generally short lifespan. Lasting about three months or so. For a building this big, that's an impractical investment, she thought as she wondered why she was sensing magic in the air around them.

 That was uncharacteristic of Floubulbs because they never release magic even when they are being powered by it.

 She went and sat next to Kano before she asked, "Do you know what the light source to this place is?"

 "Well, it's his magic. Mr. Vito is responsible for all the light in this building. He uses some form of refraction ability to bend and distribute his aura after he colorizes it. You know, to produce a white light from what is supposed to be a blue aura."

 "So that must mean he is really powerful," she added.

"Of course….he was my teacher," he said as he smiled lightly. She could hear it in his voice, he meant those words more than he appeared to.

 "I know that you don't like being punctual but this….this is out of hand." A voice spoke as they could hear loud footsteps accompanied with it. Whoever it was, was none too happy. The floor would gladly play the witness to that statement.

 "First, you never bothered showing up yesterday. Today, you decided that it was a good idea to show up this late." It was Mr. Vito and he was none too happy about Kano's tidiness. His sapphire eyes glowed as the shadow from the light behind him made them that much more prominent.

 "I couldn't help it….trying to catch an Impala is really hard," Kano said. There was a slight quiver in his voice which made it clear that he was quite frightful of the man.

 "An Impala?" The former said, briefly halting before he continued, "You have outdone yourself with this one! I was planning on going to catch some tomorrow but you have saved me quite a bit of trouble. "

 Anemone was astonished by what she was witnessing, one moment he was angry, the next, he seemed somewhat happy.

So his switches flip at a drop of a hat; living with him must be really rough.

 He looked over the dead Impala as he said, "So how is Calida doing? "

Kano took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before he gave an answer. "She is okay…business as usual with her. I am very sure that if I go home right now, I will find her with that scourge in her hand." I should probably start thinking about what my next bribe will be.

 "That's good to hear….I was worried when I saw her go quiet yesterday at noon. It was as if something was bothering her." He said as he pulled out a bag, "Here are twenty-five silver coins…..Hopefully next time, you will be early."

 The former received the bag, "I will try to be." He then walked towards Anemone.

 She got back to her feet as she asked, "Are you done?"

"I am," he replied, "We can go now."

 As soon as they started walking away, the bracelet pieces that attached themselves to the wagon, demounted themselves and flew toward her. They formed bracelets around her wrists.

 They walked until they left Ganase. As soon as they had left the village, Anemone released her magic release state.

 The magic release state is a form in which an individual manipulates their spiritual vibrations to draw out their soul's magic properties. That is, their unique ability and attribute. It is usually marked by a glow in their eyes and the release of an aura.

 An individual can still use magic in their base state but it is less powerful and less active. Magic release makes the magic more prominent and ready for use. Making magic use much easier.

 Immediately she released the state, she felt nauseated as all the fatigue came rushing down at once. She started hyperventilating. I need to be more careful …I ended up forgetting that while I am using magic release, my sensitivity grows but I can't feel fatigue until after I release the state. My sensitivity to pain is also higher.

 These rules do not apply to everyone. They only apply to her because of her unique ability.

 "Are you ok Anemone?" He asked, he could tell something was wrong. She held her forehead, having stumbled a bit.

 "I am okay….I just need a second. Until just now, I never realized just how much I was sweating. I guess I must have been too excited," she said as she removed her hand from her head. "Anyway, I have to get going. Can you give me the money as agreed upon."

 He took out six silver coins and gave them to her. "Thanks," she said as she turned to her heels as walked away.

He felt a strong headache as another set of imagery appeared in his mind.

 ...

 I was outside the hut, mourning for a loss I could never take back. All I did was for naught and the wind brushed past me reminding me of just how cold I was. Just how empty my life was yet to become. My hands were coated in a black fog as it spread even further. It was raining but standing in the rain was the only thing I could do.

...

"Se…" the headache got stronger as another set of imagery came to mind.

...

I stood among them as I watched him get beaten. I chose not to act and in return I was all alone. The price I paid for my betrayal. I watched him suffer as he requested for my help, yet, I never acted. All I did was walk away.

…. 

His headache stopped but he never knew what to say. At that moment, I couldn't say why, but I felt suffocated. I just couldn't say it…couldn't voice out the words, "see you tomorrow. "

 It was like I was at war with myself. The side of me that wished to say it…and the side of me that loathed the idea of even thinking about it.

.....

 The following morning, He woke up, got ready to head out to Redstar Forest. He sat down to put on his shoes when he realized that they were due for some dry cleaning. He took out his handkerchief as he aimed his palm at it.

 After five attempts of him trying to control his magic, he realized that water wouldn't condense. He couldn't wield his magic anymore. He closed his eyes as he tried harder but he failed each time. He decided to stay home that day as he thought something was wrong with him.

 He went to his room and lay on his bed. He reached under his shirt, holding out his half of the star. He stared at it as a thought crossed his mind, "If my magic still won't respond to me…does that mean this half will disappear?"

 Five days had passed and his magic never hinted at ever returning to him. All he could do was hold out the faint hope that it would indeed return to him. Everyday, he looked at his half of the star. From time to time, it would glow green .

 His struggling to control or even activate his magic frustrated him and eventually he learned to fear. Will my magic never respond to me again?

...

 "Asim….you aren't going to Redstar again today?" Calida asked while knocking on his door, "We are slowly running out of money. So if you still aren't feeling motivated, watch the house and I'll go."

Kano replied, "Please don't do that. Even though you will be perfectly fine, I feel as if I shouldn't let you go there if it can be helped."

 "Then why won't you go! As far as I know, you are not sick. Why are you avoiding going there?"

He sighed as he said, "Just don't worry about it, we won't run out of money. I can promise you that much at least."

....

He rolled on his bed as he thought, water bullets. Water still didn't condense around his arm. His once blue eyes retained their black color but he still couldn't use magic. The more he thought about it, the more terrified he became. What if he couldn't use his magic anymore?

 It's raining and I am all alone. I want to forget that feeling so badly, he thought as he held out his half of the star. It began glowing green. As he held it, he thought; The way she held it that day, I could tell….."I got your back," were the words that she said because her opinion of me was that I was powerful. Magic shackled us together and if I don't have it anymore ... .my half might as well shatter and disappear.

 He tacked it back under his shirt as he thought, Why exactly don't I want to go to Redstar Forest?

.....

"You actually thought we were friends," he heard a voice say those words. He was woken up by them as they reminded him deeply about the thing he wished to forget the most. Something that made him feel as if everything that happened from the time he fought the man was little more than a dream. One that he had to wake up from.

It was two days after Calida approached him, telling him about how money was slowly running out.

 Later that day, as Calida and Kano were having supper. Same as always.

"Asim, did you know that someone was requesting for you at Mr. Vito's inn. I saw her today. But according to Mr. Vito, she also went there three days ago. So I guess you finally decided to start making friends. Why didn't you tell me?" She said, she sounded chirpy as though she was genuinely happy for him.

 "That's because I never did," he said as he took a bite from the drumstick. Friends are something I don't deserve.

 Calida frowned at his gesture as she said, "You did it again, didn't you?"

Kano was shocked, he had no idea what she was implying so he wondered whether or not they were on the same page.

"What exactly are you talking about?"

 "I don't deserve friends," she said.

"You are overthinking it. I didn't say any such thing."

"You did," she exclaimed, "I saw it…..you had the same depressed look you had last time you said it just a second ago."

 He sighed as he said, "Let's just leave it there."

"No, we are going to resolve this right now. I know that you are sick of being alone then why do you keep doing it."

 He swallowed his food before adding, "I don't understand why you want to talk about this right now."

 "Of course you don't…..you just want to believe that playing the loner is some form of atonement."

He bit his lower lip, "What do you know? You are alone too!"

 "It's always the same with you, you just want to live in the past. I don't even know how many people expressed interest but you ran away. Same as now!"

 "Why do you care? They will probably be better off if I am not there. All I seem to do is disappoint. So what, you just want me to go and betray someone else!"

 Calida smiled as she said, "You finally said it. You are just afraid that you will do something you will regret again."

 "So what, how would you feel if I ended up betraying you?"

"Betraying me, huh, you already have."

As soon as he heard those words, something came to mind. Right, I made a promise when she came back. I promised that I would try to be the person that she can look up to.

 She added, "Listen, all I wanted to say was that you shouldn't waste your time regretting the things that you have already done. Instead, you should try and do things that you won't regret. The past is the past….you can dwell on it….but you shouldn't be afraid to move on." She got up.

 As soon as she left the room, he let go of the tears that he was holding back until that point. What the hell? What do you want me to do?

...

 The following morning, Kano got up early and got ready to go to Redstar forest. He packed his tools into his black bag and secured his shovel to its side. He sat down to put on his shoes. He heard footsteps coming from behind.

 "So you are going to Redstar today? That's good…if you come late then bring something otherwise don't come at all."

 "As long as I won't find you holding the scourge."

"No, the scourge stays until I see what you brought. "

"Calida," he said, "Sorry about yesterday. "

 She smiled, "I am sorry too…..I ended up saying something I kind of regret."

"But what you said was true. I am just petty. So thanks."

 "No…you should go. If you come late today, you won't find anything to eat."

He sighed as he said, "That's understood. "

He then set out for Redstar Forest.