DASH

When he left his ten-year career as an athlete to start anew, one realization struck him hard: if he made a decision, he had to act on it immediately. No matter how much he pondered and grappled with it, the conclusion remained the same. The longer he hesitated, the tougher it became to take action, and the intense agony of the moment eventually turned out to be nothing more than a waste of time.

 
Needless to say, this realization hit Jiheon full force when he quit swimming and prepared for the entrance exam. He had debated whether to quit or not, but he wished he had made the decision even a day earlier and started studying. The regret gnawed at him every late night spent wrestling with a reference book. Every prolonged hesitation brought back the memory, rendering him incapable of doing anything.
 

The same principle applied to having children. Once he decided to give birth, there was no room for hesitation. He couldn’t take his time and deal with this in a lukewarm manner. In any case, the baby in his stomach had only him to rely on, and the responsibility of how the baby was born rested entirely on his shoulders. This perspective didn’t allow him to sit back and forth like he always did and think, “It’ll work out somehow.”
 
Motivated by this realization, Jiheon promptly visited an obstetrician two days after returning to Ilsan. Although it would have been better to wait a week for clearer results, as Doctor Lim had suggested, he couldn’t afford to delay until then.

 
Thankfully, his blood test results were good. The hCG level, teetering on the edge between pregnancy and nonpregnancy at 23mlU just three days ago, had jumped to hundreds, and all other figures were normal. The doctor confirmed Jiheon had entered the fourth week of pregnancy, and Jiheon learned that the number of weeks of pregnancy wasn’t calculated based on the time of conception.
 

“By the way, doctor, I have a question.”
 
Jiheon asked about something that had been on his mind after the doctor finished his explanation.

 
“I took a birth control pill after the intercourse. Will that be bad for the baby?”
“There are very few cases of deformities caused by birth control.”

 
The middle-aged doctor reassured Jiheon in a kind yet firm tone.
 

“Yes, I heard so. But my partner, uh, the d…ad also took some too.”
 
‘Oh my god. Dad?’
 

Even Jiheon was shocked after saying it himself.
 
Seeing Jiheon struggling with an unfamiliar word, the doctor raised an eyebrow and remarked, “Hmm, really?” He continued in an indifferent tone:

 
“It’s still the same. Since birth control pills play a strict role only in preventing impregnation and conception, their impact is essentially zero by the time the embryo is safely implanted.”
 

However, regardless of contraceptive use, the doctor added that Omega males faced a high risk of early miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities, emphasizing the need for extra caution.
 
“The placenta in Omega males is generally weaker than that in women, and the uterine function tends to be poor. We’ll need to monitor the situation until at least 12 weeks.”

“I see…….”
 
Jiheon murmured quietly. Even though he was already aware of this, hearing it directly from the doctor made the situation feel more grave.

As if reading Jiheon’s expression, the doctor kindly smiled and said:
 
“Don’t worry too much. In fact, there are many cases where the children are born safely without a miscarriage. I have three kids, and all three are very healthy. There was no problem. If anything, excessive worry and stress are more harmful to the baby.”

 
The doctor chuckled and joked, perhaps attempting to lighten Jiheon’s mood.
 

“But seriously, the baby’s resilience is extraordinary. Not fully formed yet but already defeating the dads.”
 
Jiheon quickly understood what it meant to go to the hospital if the doctor was genuinely kind, nice, and sometimes silly, and if the code were right, the hospital visits would be a breeze.

Upon returning home, Jiheon went online to order the nutritional supplements the doctor had recommended and downloaded several pregnancy-related apps on his cell phone.
 
Since he hadn’t had a nickname [1] or anything yet, he left it blank and entered just the dads’ names. However, it felt really… really strange. Seeing Jaekyoung listed as a dad was so strange that Jiheon couldn’t quite get used to it. The fact that he was also a dad added an extra layer of ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ disbelief.

 
‘Wow, I’ve never had a day like this in my life….’
 

He thought, still feeling dazed. While going through the app, he burst into laughter when he saw that the 4-week-old embryo was the size of a sesame seed.
He thought the doctor’s words saying it wasn’t even fully formed yet was absolutely correct. He laughed for a while seeing the sesame seed double in size in a week (!) and become the size of a grain of rice in the 5th week. However, his mood turned serious when he learned that most miscarriages occur between the 6th and 12th weeks of pregnancy.
 

Of course, he was aware of that. Just based on probability alone, there were many more cases where the baby was born safely. But in this situation, statistics didn’t offer much comfort. Even if there were ten out of a hundred cases with a negative outcome, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t be among those ten. The fear and anxiety intensified when it became his reality.
 
So, he decided to share the news with Jaekyoung only after 12 weeks had passed. Knowing Jaekyoung’s personality, Jiheon believed that guy would immediately worry if he found out Jiheon was pregnant, and the potential heartbreak in case of a miscarriage would be doubly devastating for Jaekyoung.

While Jiheon recognized it as an unavoidable part of life, something many other parents had experienced, he didn’t want to see Jaekyoung suffer. Moreover, Jaekyoung was an athlete competing in the Olympics this year. He had the first selection round scheduled for next month and the second one in early April. If something were to happen at such a critical time, it would already be bad news, taking a huge toll on him psychologically.
 
‘The 12th week is… in mid-March, isn’t it? It’s right between the first and second selection rounds. Well, the timing is just perfect.’

 
Jiheon was checking the date on the calendar app when Jaekyoung suddenly called.
 

‘Speak of the devil.’
 
Jiheon smiled and answered the call.

 
“Hello.”
｢Did you go to the hospital?｣

 
Kwon Jaekyoung jumped straight into the conversation without saying hello. Jiheon had mentioned going for a re-examination today, and it seemed that Jaekyoung called him because he was eager to know the results.
 

“Yeah. It’s confirmed that my hormone levels are all good, and I got a new chip in.”
｢You did?｣
 

Jaekyoung asked, sounding a bit puzzled about why Jiheon got another chip.
 
“Well, of course.”

 
After Jiheon brushed it off, he said to Jaekyoung in a serious tone.
 

“Hey, you know what? When you return, we won’t be able to meet until the Olympics.”
｢What? Why?｣
 

Jiheon, who brought it up to tease Jaekyoung but acted surprised himself, was now even more bewildered.
 
“Hey, you ask why? When you’re with me, your lactic acid levels go through the roof. Are you still trying to stay with me despite that?”

｢Oh, hyung, I did an experiment on that.｣
 
Jaekyoung said, as if he’d just remembered something important.

 
“What experiment?”
｢The reason lactic acid levels rise due to pheromones is because it activates the sympathetic nervous system. So I tried to find a way to stabilize it.｣

“So……?”
 
Jiheon asked, “No way.”

 
But just as expected—
 

｢I was told to meditate.｣
 
As expected, those words came from Jaekyoung.

 
“Hey, no, hold on.”
 

Jiheon laughed in bewilderment and finally composed himself.
 
“So, that’s why you started meditating? It wasn’t part of your training?”

｢What? Oh, well… you could call it training. Training to control the mind.｣
 
Jaekyoung shamelessly admitted. Then, he swiftly shared the results before Jiheon could say anything else.

 
｢After a few days, my lactic acid level really dropped.｣
“What? Seriously? When did you even measure your lactic acid level?”

｢I measured it every time I finished meditating. There’s a blood collector in the bathroom. Minwoo hyung gave it to me when he delivered the medicine ball.｣
 
So that explained why he went to the bathroom every time he finished meditating. Only then did Jiheon realize. Jaekyoung’s good mood was probably due to seeing his lactic acid level drop.

 
Somehow, even before the last vacation ended, Jaekyoung confidently mentioned going to Malaysia without regrets, not even realizing it was his last break. He claimed to have mastered controlling his sympathetic nervous system through meditation, freeing him from worrying about pheromone effects.
 

In Jiheon’s view, it seemed more likely that it wasn’t the meditation’s effect (since the purpose was controlling the mind was the fulfillment of carnal desires, meditation was useless), but rather a result of impregnation and a significant decrease in pheromone secretion. No, that was definitely the case.
 
But he couldn’t tell Jaekyoung that right now. He did it to hide the fact that he was pregnant, but he also didn’t want to disappoint Jaekyoung, who believed in his own ability to control his sympathetic nervous system. No, to be more honest, it was so cute that Jiheon wanted to let him keep misunderstanding.

 
“I see… Wow, you really put in the effort. I had no idea you even did an experiment like that.”
 

Jiheon said, pretending to be somewhat impressed. Then, he waited as Jaekyoung earnestly briefed him on the experiment’s results.
 
｢The first time I measured my lactic acid level was on Monday. It was almost 6mmol that day, but the next day, it dropped to 5mmol, and the day after, it went down to 3mmol again. So, I think it only takes five days for the sympathetic nervous system, activated by the pheromone, to find a completely normal rhythm. Of course, this only works when I avoid physical touch as much as possible since it’s difficult through meditation alone.｣

 
Jaekyoung was beating around the bush, but that was the gist of it. He said he could manage his condition by polishing his body during weekdays, so he didn’t need to stress and could do everything he needed over the weekend.
Jiheon eagerly agreed, saying, “Yeah, okay,” but then he got a bit serious.

 
“But Jaekyoung-ah, if you’re just gonna meditate in the same space with me without being able to hold hands or touch each other, what’s the point? It’s actually more painful. Instead, let’s wait until the Olympics. It might be tough at first, but if we don’t see each other for a few days, you’ll get used to it quickly.”
｢No, I don’t want to.｣

 
Jaekyoung cut in, not even letting Jiheon finish.
 

“Why not? You said it’s torture to be close to me and not be able to do anything.”
｢It’s just bullshit.｣
 

Jaekyoung clicked his tongue.
 
｢Even if we don’t do anything, it’s better to be by your side, hyung.｣

 
He insisted he knew for sure since he was there, and the sincerity in his voice was so heartbreaking that Jiheon couldn’t help but feel it.
 

In the end, Jiheon visited the hospital again the day before Jaekyoung returned. Right after the ultrasound, despite feeling a bit embarrassed, he mustered the courage to ask about sexual intercourse during pregnancy.
 
“It’s okay after the 12th week.”

“……Not before that?”
“Wait until after the 12th week.”
 

The doctor gave the same answer in a kind manner. Jiheon was considering asking if it would be fine as long as there was no penetration, but the doctor addressed it before he could.
 
“Nowadays, many say it doesn’t matter as long as there’s no penetration. It’s believed to be beneficial for emotional stability. However, if possible, I recommend waiting until the mid-term. When the nipples are stimulated, it releases oxytocin, which causes uterine contractions. So.”

“Oh, then I really shouldn’t.”
 
Seeing Jiheon quickly drop the idea and nod, the doctor—a parent who had given birth to three—added with a knowing look.

 
“You probably wouldn’t feel like it anyway because of the hormones. Just hang in there a bit longer. In my case, I had morning sickness all day, I felt tired, my body was heavy, and everything irritated me that I wanted to kick anyone who touched me.”