NOVEL NEXT WORLD Chapter 38: Smith's Journal II
So I'm back. Stopped it cause I had a day out. I don't know how to write it or what should I write or from when. I had a crush on Finch since I don't know when. I don't remember. I liked him and I was sure that he liked me too. We got in relationship in 2019 while WC series is running behind. I know it seems awkward to prefer personal matters over professional. But we maintain hand to hand each things. We don't have emotions much for each-other. What we do have is caring sides. I might be described it- Had dinner? Had lunch? Why too late? Where are you? Where you have been? Free today? Etc etc... our relationship went in that way for few months. Not a supportive side I saw while doing relationship. Though we don't need much but for playing cricket we divided by 11 and play some game on field. It's also a combination of team work and individual performance. What we care? Of course A Victory. If I compare to my life- I score great individually but team support was unavailable at that moment. We didn't win nor we performed well. All I had was some slaps throwing over my face. I won, Finch won....individually. Neither we got support, nor we needed. All is great with a series victory if you're participating well. I didn't do great in WC. Warner proved himself which was perfect for him as comeback. I proved in Ashes, what I needed. I still do feel well recalling the memory. Some of them throw a supportive hand on us. Yeah, juniors. They had a good relationship with Aaron when I and Warner were missed out. Kane Richardson, was one of them. Adam Zampa and Marcus Stoinis were is related too. Each of the person living in the world knows! They are cute. Cummins and Wade were too. Most supportive person was- Richardson. Whatever they made a good relationship with me earlier. And I remember I forgave them for showing unexpected behaviour at the beginning of World Cup. I ended the series well by not performing well. Yeah, I mentioned personal and professional combination...!! God opens a door after closing one. Maybe He opens a door for me where I found Aaron. And the WC door closed behind me. If I say I needed both doors to be opened, What would have taken from me? You can't have everything with you. Maybe I broke someone's heart on earlier 2017, on late 2017, someone broke my heart too...
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Aaron Finch
Things were apart where things should be turned. Faced me in a turning point, not the point turned me. Several days [I call it 'days'] after I found some hope to stay to live. Actually it was after 2018, It was in the middle of 2019. Waiting started from 2016. I don't have any idea where to start. I will keep writing it. Maybe only thing I know. I liked Smith more than years. When I first saw him I just had a crush on him. Seems like I didn't know wether I was breathing for him since born. I'm not being filmy, once I had trillions of unsaid words. Still got trembling saying it loud. You can exactly hear the beat changing its sequel. I had to work a lot, improving professionally, maybe by personally too. I never had the gutt to tell any word outside of cricket to him. But when I looked at him, it felt like sometimes he felt me too. And there it is, I spent all the hours of a day with it. Somehow I gave pressure to my mind to think about him, only him. It was taugh gaining his trust, his love, his company and himself. I never even tried. I lost hope just after seeing the line behind him, all was in the line just the duplicate of me, juggling his back aside and holding their hopes. Yeah, I stopped there. I should have turned my luck back then. I never tried. Maybe I got him in 2019, I showed company and love toward him for him. Maybe he felt me too. He showed it also. We started a relationship and were happy too. Some of their friends never accepted us together. I was lucky then when Smith, himself walk over me and held himself for me. Yes, I was the guy who came back from the line behind him. I wasn't there. Yes, they were right I never existed. By professional conclusion I never had the courage to prove myself outta each things. The matter stucked right between my head, luckily I got the Captaincy. I obey it. It was okay with me with new opportunities. I couldn't handle it the way I wanted, it was okay in a convincing way.