●Cricket Oneshots● [Love & Romance] Multi Couples

Secret

It will be hurting if you keep loving me

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Days are running, things are drowning under ocean. Hasn't crossed his mind, the lie- the only thing leads its way of certainties which secured its gut between his mind. Gonna feel the pain- wanting something that never ever become his. He never asked why. Looked up at the sky, up when sun goes behind clouds. He thinks- cause he looks. Maybe the way even nature is treating him. Rain falls, heavy stroms faced him when he got stucked in traffic jam. Looks beside and sighs, with deep anguished breath. The bouquet of white roses got wet with the rain fall, he doesn't look at his seat what got wet too. He remained static on the flowers, the horn from behind's car dismissed it. He still looks at the wet, waste flowers, he recently buys. Cool! He drives his car away.

_______________________

"Hey wanna enjoy some shots?" Colin Munro, his friend, offers Nile. He nodded right to left. "Why not man? What happened?" Cal asked. He thinks maybe something is wrong. Nile didn't say anything, nor reacts. Just looking straight at someone. Cal looks at the same direction from beside him, "Who are you looking at?" He asked. Nile closed his eyes angrily and ate his anger then. "Can't you calm down?" Sips his beer. "God! I hope you're looking at-" "I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He stands up and about to leave the pub, "And yeah don't call me." Threats Cal and rushed back. Cal is looking at him stragley, sadly even more. He can smell Nile maybe for a moment, maybe the direction said something too.

One week after,

- Hey? What? Why silence ?

- Nothing. I didn't ask anything. I have no mood to come here.

- Why not? It's my birthday, Nile. How can you say that?

- By mouth

- Damn! You didn't even bring Philippe with you. I-

- Don't say his name?

- What happened Nile?

- Yeah, Salt. Its better to think that your birthday has ended, congratulations. I'm gonna leave now

- Just wait-

- Let me.

Phil Salt didn't say like Cal. They shared a look to Nile, watched leaving and Salt got stranged too. But Cal didn't. Salt looks at Cal and Cal winks at him- as he knows things, he will tell later. Salt again looks at Nile, departing.

_______________________

- Can I ask you something?

- Hm

- Who's Josh Hazlewood?

- [decrease his eyelids] You don't know him Nile? Are you drunk?

Philippe asked even after knowing why Nile is asking him.

- I ain't drunk. Do I look like drunk?

- Always

- Yes?

- I said NO.

- You said no. Yeah alright I don't care what you think about me. I care about YOUR FEELINGS

- I didn't understand. What are you taking about?

- Who IS Josh Hazlewood?

- He is-

- He is your old liker, crush right?

- I guess we, everyone has their crush.

- Right. I'd be happier if I know it is JUST A CRUSH.

- Means?

- Means nothing. You think I'm fool? I'm not fool. I know, Philippe, you didn't tell me you proposed him too. You didn't tell me, YOU LOVED HIM TOO-

- Yeah So? It isn't a big deal

Cuts Nile off, still trying to convince him with LIES.

- IT'S BEEN A BIG DEAL. Do you actually think, I'm a jealousy lover who didn't let his loved ones be with another guy EARLIER.

- Are you insane?

- Ain't. I can't be. I can't be even mad when you're alive.

- I guess you're just increasing A VERY SILLY matter.

He moves face to face to Nile and anger flies across his eyes.

- So what? So what Nile if I actually proposed him? So what?

- Its not silly-

- SO WHAT?

- IT IS NOT SILLY THAT YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. IT IS NOT SILLY YOU STILL WANT HIM. It's not.

Nile shouted, miles after can hear his voice too. Philippe stands apart, tears are falling from his cheeks. Nile comes before him, holds his shoulder tightly.

- IT IS NOT SILLY. That one person is still in love with, while having another. IT IS NOT SILLY. Is it? IS IT PHILIPPE?

He didn't say anything. He knows days down, Nile will know every single thing once. He can't ignore his tears too. He wants to tell- yeah it's silly to not accept me then. Yeah it is silly to still feel him between my mind. It is SILLY, Nile. It is. Rather...

- It is silly Nile that you're thinking I don't love you. I will keep loving you FOR-

- ENOUGH, PHILIPPE. Enough. I don't want to break your house. I'm sorry, I can't control my anger.

- I didn't mean to hide it from you. I know you will get hurt, I have no choice.

- Yes you are right. It will be hurting if you keep loving me, Philippe. Don't love me, IT HURTS. Don't do silly things. It hurts. It hurts so bad.

Nile couldn't control tears to fall through his clenched jaw. He leaves from the place, maybe he's never coming back. The last thing what he saw in Philippe's face was- NOTHING. Maybe he expected some wet eyes, some shame feel, some contrite. No- he didn't find. And he thinks- I expect AGAIN? Philippe watched the wet flowers on the couch. He didn't throw it yet, bit he didn't go for throwing, instead he went upstairs.

____________________

- Seriously, Richie. I saw Nile looking at him not with a happy face- That we've come in your bar, you didn't even welcome us. We're just sitting here and having drinks. Where are the cheer sip for us for celebrating that someone between us has a BAR, a large Bar- no he wants like that. I thought he's somehow sad for that. But no.

- And me. In my birthday party. After you left, he's sitting there sadly. I know he'd a recent fight with Philippe. But I guess it was for something else.

- Cal, for how long he was looking at Hazelwood?

- I don't know I think about hour.

- But why?

- Come on Salt-

- Don't lie Cal. You said you're gonna tell me, you didn't.

- Ouh oh! My bad, my bad. Yeah I was waiting for that day.

- What?

- He was looking at Hazy. I was about to tell you that. Yeah I remember.

- Jesus! It isn't a big deal-

- But why? [Salt ask]

- Hah! Don't you know? Philippe loves Hazy. He proposed him and he rejects. I don't know, I'm not sure. He recently finds a photo that Philippe is proposing Hazy in a restaurant. Months before, Philippe dismissed his doubt with saying- its all lies. His friend just gave him a dare to complete.

- Serious dude?

- Yeah. He said if it was real, he'd have reminded in a relationship with Hazy. Nile honestly trusts Philippe. And yeah, again as a fool, he trusts him. Then what he still trusts him but with little doubts in mind.

- Are you gonna tell him- [Cal says]

- NO [Salt shouts]

- Wait. No. We're not gonna. He will know by Philippe and then see how can manage the matter.

- Okay [both agrees]

- But-

- Are you sure that for that doubt Nile was looking at him? [Cal asks]

- Quite sure. He is jealousy lol

- But does he love STILL? [Salt asks]

- [Richardson leans back with a big breath] YEAH, he still wants him

- What!!

- Hm he does. More than Nile-

Richardson stops suddenly, looking forward in other direction. "NILE?" He says as the two of them looks back and got shocked. Richardson watched Nile is holding a bouquet of flowers and staring at them with teary eyes. The thunder rocks! Shit I dismissed their one year anniversary of relationships! Richardson thought.

....