Classroom of the Elite: Alter - Self-Test

I checked my phone and saw a notification.

[25,000 private points have been successfully transferred to your account.]

Received from: Horikita Suzune.

Just in time.

"Do you wanna start talking about it, or should we wait until we get to your room?" Kushida asked with a smile.

"Let's just talk about it in my room. We might accidentally get heard out here... You never know. Someone could be eavesdropping from behind," I replied.

"Ahaha! There's no way! Look around us, the other students are merrily talking with each other. They wouldn't care about our conversation," she chuckled cutely.

"You're right... Well, for now, let's just talk about other things. How's your study session going?" I asked.

"Ohh. Well..."

Kushida and I started chatting about mundane school stuff. She shared a few interesting things about our classmates but they were useless gossip at best. But still, the fact that she knows this much just goes to show how wide Kushida's social network was. We talked about each other's day until we reached the dorms. Finally, the two of us exited the elevator and entered my room.

"It's been a few weeks since I've been in your room, Ayanokouji-kun," commented Kushida.

"Yeah, make yourself comfortable on the bed. I'll take a seat here," I said, sitting on the office chair in front of my desktop computer.

"So? Start spilling it~! I'm guessing that it's Hasebe-san or Horikita-san~! Or... maybe it's Sakura-san~?" Kushida happily started the conversation.

A small part of me is saying that I should just improvise the conversation and talk about girls instead. But of course, that's not possible at this point.

"Kushida," I turned to her with a serious expression.

"Y-Yeah?" Kushida acted like she was nervous while wearing an adorable face.

"After this... I wholeheartedly hope that we can still be close friends..." I said.

Kushida finally sensed that something was off. I wasn't going to talk about some girl and plan a love confession.

"What are you talking about, Ayanokouji-kun? Is everything alright?" Kushida had a weary expression, but of course, she still had the same angelic attitude.

"It's alright, Kushida. You don't need to keep that face up right now."

When she heard those words, Kushida's pupils dilated in shock.

"Ayanokouji-kun... What's the problem? Why are you saying such things right now...?" Kushida said with a concerned face.

Her incessant act didn't stop. She's determined to keep this up until the very last minute, huh?

"I'm just telling you the truth. Apart from the angelic and friendly girl that everyone loves, there's another side of you, isn't there?"

Kushida's eyebrow twitched and her lips trembled slightly.

"Hey, Ayanokouji-kun. This is weird... What are you saying? This isn't like you!" Kushida's tone remained unchanging, but her composure started to crumble.

"Kushida... It's fine, really. You don't have to keep acting anymore," I said before continuing. "After all, I was there yesterday, when you let your feelings out at the rooftop."

Snap.

I felt something break inside Kushida. Her eyes, which were briefly hidden for a second, turned to look at me.

It was dark... and full of hate.

"You heard... everything?" Finally, Kushida addressed me in that deep and coarse voice.

"Yes, I heard your true feelings about Ike, Yamauchi, Shinohara-san... and Horikita."

"What do you want?" she asked me straight.

"I told you already, Kushida. I want the two of us to stay friends."

"Are kidding me? Are you that desperate to have me as a friend? I'm not the bubbly, perfectly kind girl that you know. I'm a two-faced bitch, right?! That's what you think, right?!" Kushida vehemently spoke with hate seething from her eyes.

"Whether you're a false saint, a hypocrite, or a fake, I couldn't care less."

"Oh? So you're one of those "I'll accept you for who you are" types? Are you trying to make me warm up to you? You want to be someone special to me? To be "the only one who knows the true me"? Is that what you're after? Hah, are you in love with me or something?" Kushida mocked my potential motives. "Quit your fantasies. This isn't some rom-com manga."

Was peace never an option...?

"That's quite narcissistic of you, Kushida. Do you really think I care about any of those?"

"Heh, so what then? What the hell are you after? My body?" she said, scoffing at me.

"Why? You'll give it to me if I tell you to?"

"Dream on! What? You'll try to blackmail me? You think anyone will believe your words?!"

"Well, not all of them will believe my words. But what if I use your words?"

"Huh? What you...-?!"

"Ahhh, screw this! They're so gross! They're seriously so damn gross! Always trying to ogle me, always trying to get close to me—!Your ulterior motives are so obvious you damned perverts! Ike and Yamauchi, you two should just die!"

"And that bitch Shinohara... Don't try to talk just because you're not getting praised, you minion! Go back to your co-lackeys and obey that head bitch Karuizawa—!"

"Agghh! All of this is that damned Horikita's fault! She must have intentionally assigned those annoying people to me!"

I held my phone with the speaker in full volume. With the distance between us, Kushida wouldn't be able to reach me. Even if she suddenly tried to grab my phone, it's not like I won't be able to react in time.

Kushida listened in shock. At this point, her mind must be a mess. She's using every single ounce of her brainpower to peer back on her memories. When did it happen? Why didn't she see me? Those questions must've been running through her head.

"How...?" she asked. "How? How? How? How...? HOW?!"

At this point, Kushida glared at me in pure rage.

"I told you, right? You never know. Someone could be eavesdropping from behind," I answered.

"Do you think I'd believe that? I was there, alone! I saw no one other than me!"

"It's fine if you don't believe me. I just told you the truth. Or do you have any other explanation for this?" I asked, slightly raising my phone.

"Tch..." Kushida's glare was as nocuous as ever, but other than hate and anger, there was anxiety— extreme anxiety. It's time for me to take advantage of that.

"Spread your legs," I commanded.

"What...?" Kushida asked nervously.

 Since she was in a kneeling position, the inner parts of her thighs would be revealed bit by bit... until everything could be seen.

"I'm one tap away from sending this recording to our class's group chat," I threatened.

"Wait! Wait—!" Kushida yelled in a panic.

"So? Are you doing it, or not? While you're at it, remove your top, too," I said.

Kushida's eyes started getting moist. They remained in contact with mine, full of fear, hate, and regret.

Right now, Kushida Kikyou was nothing but a sheep who was caught between the fangs of a wolf— helpless, scared... and in despair.

"So this is the true you, Ayanokouji-kun... You're worse than me, you fucking pervert. I'll absolutely make you pay for this..." Kushida slowly spread her legs. She cursed at me before touching her blazer's button. She was really going to take off her clothes.

"Stop," I said, interrupting her.

"-?!" Kushida was confused by my sudden order.

"I was testing you, Kushida. I was just trying to see how far you would go for your secret to stay hidden," I answered. "Now, I know that you hold your image, your status, and your reputation much more highly than yourself."

"Hah? What the hell do you want?! What's the point of all this?! Do you really think you can toy with me— that I would follow every single one of your orders?" Kushida asked indignantly.

"Yeah."

"..." Hearing my direct answer, Kushida could only stare back tempestuously.

"I know something about you. You know nothing about me. It's clear who's in control," I said as a matter-of-factly.

"Just... tell me what you want... I'm sick of this..." Kushida looked down on her bare thighs.

Despair was taking over her. She's slowly resigning to her fate.

"I want you... to tell me everything about your past," I said.

"My past...?" Kushida asked in confusion.

"Yes. Specifically, 'that incident'." Kushida stared back at me in shock. "What exactly happened? I want you to tell me everything in detail."

"Horikita... told you everything, didn't she?" she asked.

I see... Kushida was under the impression that Horikita knew everything. I guess I can try to take advantage of that.

"Yeah, but of course, the number of details she knew was lacking. That's why I wanted to hear it from the primary source, the main suspect herself," I said. "Lying isn't advisable, Kushida. Don't test me..."

"Tch... Fine! I'll tell you! If I tell you everything, you'll be satisfied, right?!" she aggrievedly asked.

"Yeah, I just want to understand what really happened," I replied.

She stared at me in resentment before letting out a long sigh.

"Ayanokouji-kun... you're the best at swimming, right? Better than anyone else..." Kushida started with a question.

"Not really. I'm fast, but I'm not the best in the world," I answered.

"I see, but I'm sure you can still understand what I'm feeling. You're valued in a special way, right? You're better than anyone in this school when it comes to swimming. You're also probably one of the smartest students in our year. Everyone's eyes are on you. You know those moments when people shower you with attention?"

Of course, I understood. People naturally desired the approval of others. Working hard enough to earn praise for accomplishments was fundamental to how human society functioned.

"I think I'm probably addicted to that feeling," said Kushida. "More so than normal people. I can't help wanting to show off. I can't help wanting to stand out. I can't help wanting to be praised. Whenever people show how much they admire me— how much they worship me, I can't help but think about how wonderful it is to be alive."

"But you can't be the best at everything," I commented.

"Yes, I know my own limits. No matter how hard I try, I won't be number one in academics or in sports, unlike you or Horikita. I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely hated losing. Coming in second or third won't satisfy my cravings. So I thought I'd do something that no one else could— I'll be nicer and kinder than anyone else."

So that was the root of Kushida's kindness, huh? She wasn't a genuinely kind and helpful person who treated everyone nicely. She was a two-faced narcissist who manipulated everyone by acting perfectly good.

"Thanks to that, I became popular with both boys and girls. I took pleasure in being trusted and relied upon. Elementary school and junior high were really fun," she narrated.

"But aren't you forcing yourself to do things you don't want to?" I asked.

"Of course, I'm forcing myself. It's extremely agonizing. Day after day, I'm under so much stress I that feel like I'm going bald. I've pulled my hair out and vomited from anxiety. But I can't let anyone see that side of me. That's why I continued to endure, and endure, and endure," said Kushida.

"You couldn't possibly keep that up for so long, right?" I narrowed my eyes, implying that I knew where this was going next.

"Heh, of course not. Horikita must've already told you, but my blog saved me. It was the only place where I dumped out my hidden stress. I could type all of my most painful secrets. Of course, I posted everything anonymously, you know? But I wrote the facts just as they were, and it made me so happy when I received encouragement from people I didn't even know. Then, one day, a classmate discovered my blog. Even though I hadn't named anyone, it was clear that my posts were all based on real events."

"I see, and that's how the incident started," I said, acting like I knew that much.

"Yeah, the next day, my posts were shared with the entire class. Everyone condemned me. I'd helped them so much, and yet they all turned on me. Selfish, right? The boy who'd told me he liked me actually shoved me. It was understandable, though, since I'd posted that his romantic confession grossed me out and I wanted him to die. The girl I'd comforted after she was dumped even kicked my desk. I'd posted in detail about why she was dumped and made fun of her. Over thirty students decided that I was their mortal enemy that day," narrated Kushida.

I see... So that was how...

"And the only way to make it through... was by revealing every single ugly truth to everyone." Fortunately, that last bit was easy to figure out because Horikita knew the results of Kushida's actions.

"Exactly, I revealed all my classmates' secrets. Who hated who, who thought who was a disgusting creep— I exposed truths I hadn't even written on my blog."

Truth was a weapon that could only be obtained through trust. It might seem harmless, and even good most of the time, but depending on how a person uses the truth, chaos will be a possible outcome.

"At that point, my classmates stopped being angry at me and started hating on each other. The boys got into fistfights, the girls pulled each other's hair and shoved each other over. The entire classroom descended into chaos and complete anarchy. It was honestly incredible."

It's like a scene straight out of a dystopian movie. I'm sure it was quite a sight to see.

"Because of everything I exposed, the class could no longer function. The school rebuked me, but my blog was anonymous, and all I technically did was tell my classmates the truth." Kushida spoke indifferently, but every word she uttered carried weight.

"It was my mistake to use the internet to vent my feelings. Everything you put up there is saved forever. That's why I stopped blogging. Now, I blow off steam by saying what's on my mind out loud when I'm alone."

"Just like yesterday, right?"

"Yeah, I still don't know how you managed to record me, let alone hear me, but I can't deny the evidence," she shrugged.

"You didn't lie to me about anything, right?" I asked, leaning closer. I carefully observed Kushida's response.

"What the? I didn't! Are you kidding me?! You already know that I didn't!" she replied in a panic.

Her worry stemmed from hopelessness, not lies. She really did tell me everything truthfully.

"Have you ever considered changing?" I asked.

"This is my reason for being. More than I love anything else in the world, I love everyone respecting and noticing me. When people trust me with their secrets, I feel joy that surpasses my wildest imaginations." Kushida announced with a genuinely twisted smile.

Knowing the anxiety, suffering, embarrassment, and hopes that people held within their hearts was Kushida's forbidden fruit.

"Boring, isn't it? But to me, it's everything." 

Her smile suddenly disappeared.

"I don't think it's boring, Kushida. I'm honestly envious of you..." I said.

"Huh? What do you mean 'envious'?" Kushida narrowed her eyes.

"You have a reason for being that you wholeheartedly embrace and embody... Me on the other hand..." I stopped.

"What is it? Can't you at least tell me that? I revealed everything to you, you know?" she asked with a glare.

"Do you really think you're in a position to say that?" I reminded.

"Screw you..." Kushida snapped back.

"You're a walking bomb, Kushida. Right now, you're pretty harmless because school just started. But once you start amassing everyone's secrets, you can pretty much do the same thing you've done back then. In other words, you'll be holding the entire class hostage. You must've been thinking of using that to threaten me back, right?"

Kushida's face contorted heavily. I seemed to hit her most vital nerve. This was her last resort— her final card in the future, but I revealed it all too easily.

"Tch... So what? You're gonna expose me now— so everyone can keep their secrets from me?" Kushida was displeased that I revealed her plan against me.

"That's honestly the best logical solution to this problem. But of course, you wouldn't want that, right? Not only will you lose your status and earn everyone's contempt, but you will also lose your reason for being. You want to prevent that as much as you possibly can to the point where you'll offer your body to me as a bargaining chip."

"Heh. If you were an idiot like Ike-kun, Yamauchi-kun, or any other guy in Class B excluding Hirata-kun, I would never submit my body. But... you're too dangerous. If someone as cunning as you were the one trying to corner me, I can only dream of finding a way out. I basically have no choice." Kushida laughed in self-deprecation.

After I easily revealed her only tangible escape plan, there was no other feeling left in her other than despair.

Unless she steals the phone while knowing the password, Kushida would still have to listen to their demands. But of course, they would be much easier to manipulate. She can probably pull something off before they can do anything to her.

"Don't worry. I was really just testing you earlier. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested, but I'm not the type of person to commit a crime." I said before asking. "I want to know about one more thing, Kushida."

"What? I thought we were done with this?" Kushida was clearly annoyed. Unfortunately, she had no choice but to answer all of my questions.

"You hate Horikita, don't you?" I asked.

"Huh? Of course, I do. That bitch told you everything, and she knows my past, too. I want her expelled more than anything," Kushida answered instantly.

"Hmm, since I know everything, I assume you feel the same with me?"

"The hell? That's obvious. You threatened me to reveal my taboo of a past. You ordered me to spread my legs and take off my clothes. I hate you more than anyone in this school," Kushida replied with a glare full of spite and resentment.

"What will you do then? You have no cards. I can easily break our verbal agreement and reveal everything at once," I said.

"That's... Damn it... Please, just tell me what you fucking want... Let's end this already..." Kushida bit her lip in frustration. She's acting tough, but in the end, the situation is still under my control.

"I'll propose the solution I made for this. But, you'll have to trust me."

"Trust you? Heh..." Kushida derided my words. "Well, I don't really have any other choice but to hear it, do I?"

I nodded.

"I'll keep your secret safe. In exchange, I want the two of us to become allies," I said.

"Hah? Allies? What are you...?" Kushida was visibly confused.

"I told you from the very beginning, right? I want the two of us to stay friends. I won't tell anyone about your secrets, and I'll show you my sincerity by deleting the voice recording after we sort everything out," I explained.

"You'll delete it?" Kushida was slightly invigorated. "Don't take me for an idiot, Ayanokouji-kun. You must have made a bunch of copies of it already."

Of course, her doubts were acceptable. However, the first spark of hope has appeared before her eyes.

"I knew you'd say that, and I can't simply deny the possibility. To offer you some peace of mind, I'll give you my phone so you can see that there aren't any recordings other than the one I took of you. You can even delete it yourself. I'll also let you check my computer for any possible copies."

"Are you... serious?" Kushida continued looking at me with skeptical eyes. The benefits on her side of the deal were simply too much.

"Yes, I am," I replied while navigating my computer. "I know that what I'm saying sounds too good to be true, but your only choice is to comply."

Kushida nodded and approached me to use the computer. After she checked everything, she finally deleted the voice recording from my phone. When I got my phone back, I showed her my current private point balance to make her believe that I didn't buy any hard drives.

I didn't mention that possibility until she gave it back. After all, if Kushida still had my phone, she might check and see the point transfer between me and Horikita. I already have an alibi even if she did it on her own, but knowing how much her emotions are fluctuating, she wouldn't be cerebral enough to think about it.

After checking everything, her empty eyes gained color again. The relief on her face was very noticeable.

"What... will you do about Horikita? She knows about my past too, right?" Kushida asked anxiously.

"I was actually lying earlier," I said.

"What? Lying?"

"When Horikita and I had a long talk back then, I manipulated her into talking about her junior high days. That's when I coincidentally found out about the gist of your past. That's also how I became suspicious of you since way back. But my point is, Horikita didn't know any details. That's the truth," I explained.

"She didn't know any details...?"

"Yeah, I just fooled you into telling me everything. So if you have a target, Horikita wouldn't be worth your time."

"But still! Even if you're telling the truth now, I can't possibly be satisfied with letting Horikita be!"

"Horikita doesn't care about you. There's no point in worrying about her."

"Still..." Kushida's concern was justified. In the end, Horikita still knows about the incident by itself and that Kushida was somehow the center of it. There's no guarantee that Horikita won't use her knowledge against Kushida in the future.

I decided not to throw Horikita under the bus. After all, it was more efficient for me if Kushida entirely stopped thinking of her as a threat. Kushida only hated Horikita because she knew about her past. She didn't have any deep-rooted grudge against her, so if I can take care of the main problem, Kushida should refrain from targeting Horikita, at least for now.

"Alright, I'll get Horikita's word on this. Don't worry, I won't tell her the details of that incident. And quite frankly, she doesn't really seem interested in it." Kushida should realize the weight of my words. "Should she do anything that endangers your secret, I'll do everything I can to expel her myself."

After thinking about my words for a brief second, Kushida nodded in agreement.

"Fine... Make sure to expel her if she does anything suspicious."

"Yeah, I will."

"What will you do about my plan then? I can continue following your demands right now, but once I get enough secrets at my disposal, I can still destroy the class in the future," Kushida asked with a grave expression.

"Then... shame on me, I guess?" I answered straight.

"What? Don't you have some sort of contingency plan against my potential betrayal?"

"Well, if you try to expel me or Horikita, then the two of us will just fight back. If you cause chaos by revealing everyone's secrets, then I'll have no choice but to work together with Hirata and Karuizawa to bring the class back together, no matter how hard it is and no matter how long it takes."

My real plan is to expel any hindrances, but I won't say that out loud...

"I'll also expose your past by then."

"Are you serious? You can easily win without consequences if you expose me right now. Once I decide to betray you in the future, all of us will just self-destruct. Everyone loses, including you," she explained.

"Yeah, you're right. And it'll be my fault for trusting you." I looked straight into Kushida's eyes.

"Trusting me, huh?" Kushida sneered at herself. Even she knew that trusting her is the worst move one could make.

"Yes... I want to trust you. Do you still not trust me, Kushida?" I asked.

"I..."

Finally, I will tie the last string.

I slowly took out something from my pocket. It was a very small cassette recorder.

"Well, if you still don't, your decision might've been right."

"Eh...? On your hand... Is that...? Did you just..." Kushida immediately knew what I meant by taking out the item.

"I recorded everything we talked about tonight, Kushida. Right from the moment we entered the room, to the time when I played the recording on my phone, including the moment where you revealed every single detail of your past to me, and up until this very moment... this recorder was taking in everything. It was my real contingency plan," I narrated.

When she thought everything was finally okay— When hope filled her heart again... Everything comes crashing down.

"No..."

"I asked a friend to transfer me the funds so I can buy this recorder. That's why nothing looked odd when you saw my private point balance earlier. It was an expensive buy, after all," I explained.

She could only stare blankly at the recorder that I was holding.

"Haha... So... you really planned to betray me in the end, huh?"

Kushida didn't even glare at me.

She just accepted her defeat. After all, her entire lifeline was recorded on that very tape.

Her past, her fake angelic self, and her hidden dark side— all of them were laid bare.

She hit rock bottom.

To Kushida, I was holding her whole high school life by the throat, ready to slash it with a knife and eliminate it forever.

Once that happens, she can either live in hell... or drop out.

When I peered into her face, tears started welling up.

However, it didn't take long before she noticed something odd.

"But why would you try to tell me this now? It doesn't make sense..."

I slowly opened the cassette recorder.

"I did plan to betray you... But Kushida, I've already made up my mind right from the start."

I took out the tape from the recorder and dropped it on the ground.

Smash.

The one and only tape that contained everything was now in pieces after I stomped on it.

"What are you-?" Kushida was perplexed by my actions.

I slowly grabbed the disordered films and tore them apart.

"I laid all of my cards in front of you and burned them all the way. My so-called contingency plan and only leverage against you is now in pieces," I said.

"Why...? Why?! I don't understand! You already had me twice!" Kushida furiously looked for answers.

Kushida Kikyou was distrustful by nature and she absolutely abhorred losing, more so than normal people do. That's why after getting bested twice, even she found it hard to accept that I was just giving her a free escape again.

"I told you... I just wanted you to trust me, Kushida. I don't care how you act in front of me, or how you act in front of people even if I know about 'the dark side' you're hiding from others. My only goal isn't to antagonize you at all," I said. "I want to be your friend and your ally.

"You're ridiculous!" Kushida's strained voice exclaimed in confusion. "You knew I wouldn't listen to you if you just revealed what you know without having the cards to lock me down. I don't know if you're telling the truth, and I don't think I can do anything to confirm that at this point... But if you are, then didn't you just set all of this up... to make friends with me?!"

"I don't know... I didn't have many friends back then— No, who am I kidding? I didn't have any friends back then. That's probably why I began to think like this." I said before looking at her straight in the eyes. 

————————————————————————

"And that's probably why I don't want to lose the first friend I made."

————————————————————————

The tears that Kushida tried to hold back finally streamed down her rosy cheeks.

"Damn it... Why should I be moved by those corny words? You're just a smart and athletic loner." Kushida started hurling insults at me while wiping her tears. "You're just a pervert... who tried to rape me. You're just a cunning bastard who manipulates others... You're just... You're just..."

I stayed silent as Kushida said what was on her mind. I didn't interrupt her as she let out the things she wanted to say.

She continued crying for a minute or two. After she was done, Kushida glared at me with an annoyed expression.

"Do you trust me, Kushida?" I asked.

"I do, idiot. Are you happy?" she replied scornfully.

"Thank you," I replied while staring at her.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

"There's nothing else to look at other than your swollen eyes and snot-filled face," I joked.

Kushida furiously threw a pillow at me.

"Whatever... I'll leave now. It's getting late," Kushida said coldly.

She got up from my bed and picked up her bag. I grabbed her wrist before she could reach the door.

"Kushida," I called.

"What now?" she asked, still trying to clean up her face.

"When you want to vent your feelings out, come here. I'll listen to you."

Thud.

Kushida punched me in the chest with all her might.

"If it wasn't for your monotone way of speaking, I would've immediately thought you were hitting on me," she said.

"I wasn't planning on doing so," I replied.

"Next time, don't you dare record me, or I'll really kill you," she threatened.

I simply nodded.

"Bye-bye, Ayanokouji-kun." Kushida looked away as she exited the door.