Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy

Sometimes, instinct takes over before reason has a chance to catch up. And when it does, it’s usually survival instinct.

That was why I didn’t overthink it—I acted impulsively.

“I’m sorry.”

I beat the smiling woman to the punch before she could continue speaking.

In situations like this, groveling took priority over figuring things out. Hesitation would only escalate this mess into a full-blown disaster. I didn’t need introductions to know who she was. If I didn’t, then that would make me an idiot.

Of course, words alone wouldn’t cut it. To make my apology seem genuine, I immediately dropped into a full bow, head to the ground—what some might call a kowtow or dogeza. A gesture like this ought to show my sincerity.

“Ahaha! How refreshing!”

I couldn’t see her face with my head down, but her hearty laughter suggested she was at least somewhat satisfied. Whether she appreciated the apology itself or was just entertained by the sudden display, I wasn’t sure.

“Come on, raise your head. It was hard to meet you, so we should at least talk face-to-face.”

“That’s enough. Just look up.”

Her tone was more of a command than a suggestion, so I quickly obeyed. Judging by her reaction so far, it didn’t seem like she was about to shout, ‘You faithless wretch!’ and kill me on the spot. At least she was giving me the chance to speak.

As I raised my head, the first thing I saw was her drinking straight from a leather flask.

Or not?

I suddenly felt uneasy. She was downing something that looked suspiciously like alcohol, and it reminded me of a historical drama I’d seen before my possession. Did she tell me to raise my head not to talk but to behead me?

It was scary. I was afraid that the alcohol in her mouth might spray onto my face. I didn’t want to die, but dying while being misted with alcohol was even worse.

“Whew! Want some?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Really? Well, it might not suit you Southerners’ tastes.”

If she noticed my fear, she didn’t show it. She quickly drained the flask after offering me a drink and being declined. It was a fairly large one, but she emptied it in one go. So she was a real drinker.

Anyway, after showcasing her drinking prowess at our first meeting, the woman looked at my stiff posture and smirked.

“You probably already know, but I’ll introduce myself since this is our first meeting. I’m the being you call the Eternal Blue Sky. A sky god, in a way.”

The words confirmed what I’d suspected—and hoped wasn’t true. I bit my lip. For a fleeting moment, I’d thought that maybe this was someone else, like a lesser spirit or a messenger, or even Constantina. But of course, it wasn’t.

“It’s an honor to meet a god.”

“Honor? What honor? I’m already a fallen deity.”

She replied with laughter rather than anger, but that made it even worse. After all, I played a big part in that fall.

I think I’m going to lose it.

Her being furious would at least be something I could prepare myself for. But this? I had no idea how to react. Honestly, I’d never even considered meeting a god in the first place.

“Hehe, are you feeling sorry?”

As I hesitated, unsure of what to say, the Eternal Blue Sky laughed again.

“I appreciate it, but you’re overestimating yourself! The moment settlers emerged, it was only a matter of time before a nomadic god like me would lose relevance. You just sped things up a little, it’s not entirely your fault!”

The Eternal Blue Sky said this while vigorously patting my back, telling me to straighten up. She was like a boisterous mother comforting her dejected son.

And that was what was driving me crazy. Why was she reacting like this?

Wasn’t she supposed to be mad?

Bedler clearly said that the god was furious and interfering with my wound. Considering I’d killed her apostle, desecrated her temple, and defiled a sacred relic of hers, it wasn’t surprising that a deity would be furious. I’d never once doubted that the Eternal Blue Sky was angry with me.

I was just amazed at myself for achieving the grand slam of blasphemy in a world where gods really existed.

Was it a misunderstanding?

For a moment, the thought crossed my mind. Maybe the Eternal Blue Sky didn’t actually harbor any personal feelings toward me at all.

After all, how could a human understand a god’s mind? The strong divine energy in my wound might have been just a coincidence, or Kagan’s independent evil deed. Also, her sudden appearance before me might be out of pity for my futile efforts and prayers.

Yes, I should reflect. The benevolence of Mother Sky was beyond my comprehension—

“But, to be honest, I was a bit pissed when things escalated so grandly.”

I guess not.

I’m screwed.

When someone says, ‘I was pissed,’ it’s usually a passing comment. But when a god says it? That was serious.

“You killed the apostle I cherished, tossed aside the sacred relic I gifted with care, and even demolished my temple. Honestly, I’ve never encountered someone like you, not even during the era of religious wars.”

“I’m sorry…”

Being scolded for actions that would’ve been unthinkable even during holy wars made me feel like I’d committed some sort of war crime. I couldn’t even raise my head.

“Whatever. The punishment’s been dealt, so it’s over. Honestly, it was partly for show. A god who lets their faith waver without consequence might be seen as weak…”

The Eternal Blue Sky trailed off, then closed her mouth tightly and scratched her cheek as if embarrassed.

Now I was nervous. What was she leading up to?

“Aren’t you curious why I’m in your body?”

“Ah, yes.”

I nodded instinctively at her words. Of course I was curious.

Even the holiest saints and most devout priests only received divine power—they didn’t share their bodies with a god. A person hosting a deity directly would practically be a god themselves.

And I wasn’t even remotely devout. The idea that this was just some form of divine punishment seemed… excessive. If sticking herself to me was just to punish me, wouldn’t that be a little obsessive?

“I’m trapped.”

“…Pardon?”

“I said I’m trapped.”

The Eternal Blue Sky lowered her gaze slightly, and I froze.

A chilling silence hung in the air.

***

I was able to hear the detailed story from the Eternal Blue Sky, her face reddened.

When Kagan cut my body, all the divine power imbued in the sacred object transferred to my wound. Normally, such attacks only leave traces of divine power, but Kagan’s final attack had been delivered with his full strength. As a result, the relic’s divine energy moved with the intent to kill me.

Of course, Kagan was the one who died, and normally, divine power that leaves a sacred object would disappear on its own—

“But I anchored it. Since an apostle inflicted the wound, I figured there was no need to cause further harm. Just having the wound linger seemed like punishment enough.”

Her intervention turned what should have been a fleeting divine presence into an eternal curse. As a god directly intervened, no mortal could remove this energy. And since the divine energy couldn’t be removed, the wound wouldn’t heal. This absurd situation continued for three years.

“I was planning to withdraw it after about a year…”

Her voice trailed off, but after a moment of hesitation, she continued.

“But during that time, I lost my place to stay.”

“What?”

This was strange. She was explaining, but I couldn’t understand her. A god needing a place to stay? Weren’t gods supposed to live in heaven or something?

“Do gods have homes too?”

I asked, unable to hold back my confusion, and the Eternal Blue Sky sighed softly.

“Yes. A shrine or any sacred site that holds divine energy—that’s a god’s home.”

I couldn’t react to those words.

If a temple was a god’s home, then I could understand why she said she lost her place to stay.

“But you destroyed everything, so the only place with divine power left is your body.”

I felt like laughing hollowly at the Eternal Blue Sky’s slightly resentful glare. While destroying the nomads’ rallying point in the North, I had also swept away the Eternal Blue Sky’s temple. Apparently, the nomads hadn’t rebuilt them yet.

As a result, there was no place in this world that could contain the Eternal Blue Sky’s divine power. Only I, who ended up with the sacred object’s divine power in my body, became the sole bearer of the Eternal Blue Sky’s power and the only place she could reside in.

What the hell?

What a messed-up situation. It was awkward for both me and the Eternal Blue Sky.

“So, why did you appear now after all this time?”

“If the fairies remove my power now, I’ll die…”

I closed my mouth again at those desperate words. The Eternal Blue Sky’s sudden emergence after lying low was a last-ditch effort from someone teetering on the brink of existence.

It was pitiful. I didn’t fully understand what it meant for a god to die, but it didn’t seem like a good thing judging by her reluctance.

Maybe I should have held back a bit.

Hearing her story, I couldn’t help but regret my actions. If I had left just one, just one temple standing, the Eternal Blue Sky wouldn’t have had to be trapped in my body, and she would have taken back the wound’s energy on her own after a year.

Of course, as someone harassed by nomads, I could argue it was self-defense, but…

“If only war hadn’t broken out…”

“Didn’t you directly order it? Since your apostle led the charge, I naturally thought so.”

“I only chose him because he was devout! I don’t issue war orders! If anything, I avoid them. My followers dying in battle would only weaken me!”

“Wouldn’t winning increase the number of believers?”

“As if people would truly believe in a god they’re forced to worship!”

Hearing this, I couldn’t really blame her. From her perspective, she’d been caught in the crossfire of her followers’ reckless actions.

And considering history, the settled people had attacked nomads more often than the opposite. By that logic, my justification of self-defense might not even hold up.

“Um, so, there’s something I really want to ask, and that’s why I called you.”

Seemingly embarrassed after venting her frustrations, the Eternal Blue Sky cleared her throat and spoke cautiously.

But it felt like she’d asked the wrong person. If she wanted help with a divine matter, she should have sought out someone like Tannian, a saint—not a swordsman like me.

“I’m not even a priest, so how could I help?”

“It’s okay. All you need to do is deliver a message to the fairies for me.”

Fortunately, I could do that much.

***

I saw the Elder’s house instead of the pure white space when I closed my eyes and opened them again.

“Sky lady, she was here.”

“It’s true, it’s true.”

“Energy, heavy. We can’t take it…”

Moreover, judging from the fairies’ conversation, it seemed that no time had passed while I was in the white space.

She might’ve seemed pitiful while talking about having no home because of me and being trapped, but a god was still a god. She even transcended space and time like it was nothing.

“Kids.”

Now that I was back, it was time to take care of the favor she’d asked. Ignoring it could be dangerous—if the Eternal Blue Sky who had no place to go decided to lash out in a ‘let’s all go down together’ tantrum, my body would bear the brunt of it.

“Let’s go outside for a bit.”

“Outside? Outside?”

“Outside? Why?”

“Outside, boring. Elf Auntie lives a boring life.”

I saw the Elder flinch at this sudden attack, but she tried to comfort the fairies. After all, this was more than just a favor; it was something that could benefit the fairies, too.

“You might be able to see your mom again.”

The moment I said that, I learned firsthand just how strong a dozen thumb-sized children could be when motivated.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“Mom, mom, mom!”

“Really? Really mom? Not lying, right? Right?”

“Lies are bad! If it’s a lie, we’ll cry!”

I really didn’t need to learn this lesson while they were yanking on my hair, though.

Kids, grabbing my clothes is more than enough. Isn’t pulling me by my hair a bit too much…?

***

https://ko-fi.com/genesisforsaken