Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols

How sweet was the luxury of sleeping in on a holiday?

 

For a corporate worker who woke up every day at 6:30 a.m., rubbing sleepy eyes, taking a quick shower, dressing up in a suit, and squeezing into the hellish subway, a holiday morning was literally a time to ‘cherish and waste away previously’.

 

The trainees at UA probably felt the same way. They woke up early in the morning and danced and sang every day.

 

So, Mr. Kim, who not only worked in an office for years but was now also a trainee, wanted to enjoy the rare opportunity to sleep in!

 

“Why are you here so early?”

 

I asked as I hurriedly ran out to the sound of an unidentified outsider pressing the password to the dorm.

 

I thought it was some drunk person banging on the door early in the morning.

 

But to my surprise, the intruder, struggling with the door lock outside, shouted loudly:

 

‘Iwol hyung! Joowoo hyung! Open the door!’

 

That was how the early morning unexpected visitor, who advertised to the whole neighborhood that Mr. Iwol and Mr. Joowoo lived here, managed to get into the dorm before breaking the door down… It was Lee Cheonghyeon, a member of this dorm.

 

This trouble happened because I had locked the security latch on, thinking that no one would come.

 

Who came over early without a heads-up?

 

I felt like I had heard somewhere that beautiful people were sleepyheads, but it seemed it was all just a lie.

 

“This is the first time someone’s been unhappy to see me arrive early. How upright of you.”

 

“You could have just called first.”

 

“I didn’t want to wake you guys up if you were sleeping.”

 

“And yet here you are, waking everyone up anyway.”

 

“Well, how was I supposed to know you’d even lock the latch?!”

 

Lee Cheonghyeon kept trying to plead his case, but I wasn’t having it.

 

As we were arguing, Lee Cheonghyeon took things out of the large supermarket shopping cart and placed them on the floor.

 

“What is all this?”

 

“Chestnuts. Oh, and watermelon-flavored jelly, too! I heard you guys already ate some pancake?”

 

“Who told you?”

 

“Seongbin hyung. I spoke with him last night. Didn’t Seongbin hyung call you?”

 

Was he referring to that nerve-wracking call on the Han River?

 

It seemed Jeong Seongbin contacted Lee Cheonghyeon after that call.

 

I thought he had called only to keep an eye on the members who were left in the dorms, but apparently, he called each of us one by one. What a ridiculously diligent guy.

 

In the meantime, Park Joowoo came out half-asleep and staggered around, moving the watermelon jelly to the cupboard.

 

The uncle was pleased that the division of household chores seemed to be going well.

 

As I moved the food Cheonghyeon brought to the refrigerator, I asked.

 

“So. Why did you come so early?”

 

“I thought hyungs might be bored.”

 

“What?”

 

“You know the saying, ‘You may not notice who’s there, but you definitely notice who’s missing’!”

 

Lee Cheonghyeon shouted confidently. Wasn’t it the quality of an idol to say such embarrassing things so confidently?

 

I briefly wondered if it was okay for him to spend his long-awaited vacation like this.

 

Even Joowoo, who had finished organizing the food, asked,

 

“…Are you sure it’s fine not to be with your family?”

 

Cheonghyeon was unbothered.

 

“What’s the point of being there? I’ll just get nagged. Oh, but since my grades were good this time, they didn’t say much!”

 

“Your family must care a lot about academics.”

 

“Not just a lot, but completely. Honestly, I think it’s a bit much to have three children and expect all of them to focus on studying.”

 

Lee Cheonghyeon said firmly.

 

Well, if there were five people in a family and only one of them was pursuing the path of music, it would not be easy for them to get along with the other family members.

 

We continued chatting, each munching on a couple of chestnuts that Cheonghyeon had brought.

 

A few hours later, Seongbin returned, carrying a black plastic bag.

 

“Seongbin hyung!”

 

Jeong Seongbin, greeted by Lee Cheonghyeon who was happy to see him, handed the bag to Park Joowoo.

 

The envelope that Park Joowoo received was filled with yakgwa.

 

Park Joowoo looked at the sheer amount of yakgwa inside the bag with puzzled eyes and asked.

 

“What is all this…?”

 

“It’s yakgwa. Hyung, has everything been okay? I see Cheonghyeon’s already here.”

 

I asked, full of worry.

 

“…Do you like yakgwa?”

 

It would be a problem if he did. Yakgwa contained a whopping 140 kcal per piece.

 

“No, I brought it for the members to eat.”

 

Fortunately, Seongbin quickly put my worries to rest.

 

What Jeong Seongbin brought wasn’t just yakgwa.

 

This time, Jeong Seongbin’s mother sent a sealed container filled with dumplings she made herself. Apparently the whole family had made them together to celebrate Chuseok.

 

“Hyung, some of the dumplings are a bit burst, though?”

 

“Oh… Those are probably the ones Jeong Seongjun made.”

 

With a small sigh, Jeong Seongbin mentioned his younger brother’s name.

 

That dry tone and a tone of voice that seemed to hide a feeling of pity…

 

My noona must have spoken like that too when she talked about me somewhere. I’m sorry for being a lacking younger brother, noona.

 

As I suddenly felt a strange sense of kinship with Seongjun, whom I’d never even met, Seongbin said to me.

 

“You’re supposed to steam these dumplings. I learned how to do it, so I’ll take care of it.”

 

“I know how to steam dumplings too. But how did you carry all this?”

 

“Dad gave me a lift.”

 

I see. You should’ve invited him in for a drink or something… Now I feel guilty about not meeting your father properly.

 

The holiday food blessings didn’t stop there.

 

Not long after, Kang Kiyeon arrived with a whole box of ginger hangwa.

 

“…Do you guys like ginger?”

 

He asked with a sheepish look.

 

It seemed Kiyeon wasn’t fond of ginger, but I, who absolutely adored ginger tea, welcomed the ginger hangwa with open arms.

 

Seeing all these snacks his friend brought from home, Cheonghyeon laughed and said,

 

“At this rate, isn’t Jeho hyung going to bring something too?”

 

“No way. Jeho hyung lives far away.”

 

When Lee Cheonghyeon joked, Jeong Seongbin, who was opening the box of hangwa with sparkled eyes, laughed and waved his hand dismissively.

 

“It takes him three hours just on the KTX…”

 

Even Park Joowoo doubted it would happen.

 

And sure enough, Choi Jeho didn’t bring anything.

 

Instead, he carried something on his back.

 

“So you carried plum extract all the way here from your house?”

 

“Yeah. Mom asked me to bring it.”

 

Choi Jeho put down the clearly heavy backpack and plopped onto the couch.

 

Through the bag’s outline, I could make out the silhouettes of two 1.5-liter bottles.

 

“If you don’t want to drink it, just leave it. I’ll take care of it.”

 

“What are you saying, hyung? I love plum extract!”

 

Lee Cheonghyeon quickly put the two plastic bottles in the refrigerator before Choi Jeho could think of throwing away the plum extract.

 

‘You’re saying that everyone below the manager level should get the same holiday bonus as regular employees?’

 

‘Yeah, That’s what the higher-ups said. Plan your budget accordingly.’

 

‘There’s going to be up to 400,000 won difference compared to last Lunar New Year… Won’t there be a backlash?’

 

‘What? That much?’

 

Some companies even cut bonuses for employees who had worked more than five years because they felt it was a waste.

 

“Hey guys.”

 

I said, thinking of the chestnut plate, yakgwa bag, hangwa box, and the plum extract bottles in the fridge, and said,

 

“Everyone, gather around. Let’s start by making a thank-you call to Choi Jeho’s house.”

 

* * *

 

Thanks to everyone who brought food thinking of each other, we almost gained 500 grams each.

 

If the six of us hadn’t lined up in two rows every night to run along the Han River, our families’ love and care would have turned directly into extra weight.

 

That was how we tried our best during that short holiday to fulfill our idol duties…

 

“I’ve been thinking while everyone was resting. About what we need to do to help this group survive in a unique market.”

 

If there’s a god, I’d like to ask them:

 

Why didn’t you strike Yoo Hansoo with lightning for not fulfilling his duties?

 

I wanted to either tear apart the PowerPoint slide titled ‘Spark – Stage Name (Draft)’ in front of me or gouge out my own eyes to avoid seeing it. Very violently, too.

 

Stage names were not uncommon in idol groups.

 

Sometimes, using stage names was trendy, and at other times, sticking to real names was the norm.

 

However, stage names were only created when there was a need to show idols in a more effective way after thorough discussions, by considering the team’s color or the individuality of its members.

 

“See, these stage names would reflect how the six of you belong to a single group…”

 

Not by giving all six members matching names.

 

I took the chance while everyone was staring at Yoo Hansoo to rub my eyes, then looked at the screen again.

 

But the words ‘The Six Yoo Brothers’ were still there.

 

Along with the names Leewon, Jaewon, Sungwon, Joowon, Cheongwon, and Kiwon.

 

What were the ancestors doing during Chuseok? They didn’t even bother to take Yoo Hansoo with them.

 

Apparently, this was the best he could come up with after squeezing his brain, using examples like character limits, the alphabet, or even pure Korean names.

 

I was not a very creative person.

 

 And I knew how annoying it was to just critique someone’s work without contributing, but…

 

‘Isn’t this too lame?’

 

I read the trend survey data that Yoo Hansoo had brought once again.

 

The fans like groups that feel like family? Sure.

 

It was also true that the fans often assigned roles like ‘parent’, ‘first son’, ‘second son’, ‘uncle’, ‘youngest’.

 

But did we really need to turn not just a few video concepts, but the entire group’s identity, into a chaotic brotherhood story? Not an album concept, but a group concept?

 

At this point, I wasn’t even angry anymore—I was just confused. At the same time, I was at a loss as to how to handle this.

 

I even seriously considered whether it might be better to just leave the room. Sitting here felt like the most pointless thing I could be doing right now.

 

But I couldn’t. What if they put ‘Iwon’ under my profile picture?

 

By the way, that ‘Won’ stands for ‘One Team.’

 

Lee Cheonghyeon, who was obviously going to end up with the nickname ‘National Petition’ after debuting with a name like Cheongwon, didn’t look happy today either.

 

And sitting next to him, Kang Kiyeon, who was clearly going to get stuck with the nickname 

‘Lotto Prayer’, was biting his lip in frustration.

 

“Don’t you think all the members’ real names are fine? Having one or two stage names is okay, but giving everyone matching stage names… There’s no precedent for that.”

 

One of the planning team members spoke up. Their firmness made me want to pledge eternal loyalty to them.

 

However, Yoo Hansoo was resolute.

 

“Can you succeed just by doing what others have done? Since UA is challenging a new market, the public must have some expectations, so I think we need a spirit of challenge that matches that.”

 

Yoo Hansoo shrugged.

 

I saw Lee Cheonghyeon across from me tightly close his eyes. Clearly, Yoo Hansoo had never heard the saying that there’s usually a reason people don’t do certain things.

 

Yoo Hansoo continued his presentation, seemingly oblivious to the expressions on the faces of the people in the meeting room.

 

“Let’s emphasize that from the name. Isn’t a name supposed to represent a person?”

 

Why not just go all out and make the team slogan ‘Spark is always one!’?

 

Let’s make the debut song titled Only One, and we’d only have to promote it once per album on music shows.

 

In the first place, teamwork was a basic requirement for idols. It was not something you had to emphasize—it was an essential skill you needed to have from the start.

 

‘Is he trying to claim credit by hijacking someone else’s work, while still wanting to keep his pride intact by pushing some new idea?’

 

It’d been a while since I’d dealt with someone this frustrating. My head ached.

 

The only good thing was that the rest of the room wasn’t responding too favorably to Yoo Hansoo either.  Judging from the rotting expressions of the planning team, it seemed I wouldn’t have to step up this time.

 

Sure enough, the planning team leader opened his mouth.

 

“I understand for now. Is there anything else we need to discuss?”

 

It was a subtle way to change the subject. The planning team leader seemed to want to end this exhausting meeting as soon as possible.

 

“Oh, this is connected to the stage names.”

 

Yoo Hansoo turned the page of the PPT.

 

On the screen, ‘Spark Fandom Name Proposal’ was written in clear Gothic letters on a white background.

 

No.

 

Why is the fandom name coming up here…?