Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols

 

≫ I’ve seen people drink like this before at an old bar

 

≫ XX, he drinks so well

 

≫ Look at that pale face while drinking like that

 

Was there a reason to keep watching this? It wasn’t even made by fans.

 

I appreciated the attention, but it was so embarrassing. I wanted to throw myself out the dorm’s window.

 

Just as I was about to suggest turning it off, a short and impactful comment caught my attention.

 

≫ 15:38 A drinking hippo

 

The moment I saw that, I made up my mind.

 

If I ever quit being an idol, I’d go back to farming in a place with no internet.

 

The aftermath of appearing on Drinkers lingered for a long time.

 

In the online communities, people called me Bottomless Drinker or Party Drinker alongside Kim Pep, and when I went to music shows, fans would tell me to drink moderately out of concern.

 

I was so mortified I wanted to disappear. So I even did a health-based live broadcast promoting ‘alcohol abstinence’ at 7 PM.

 

‘You guys… Don’t do this kind of thing…’ was the comment that received the most likes and it stung a little, but anyway.

 

And so, my first solo variety appearance left behind self-promotion points and a trail of embarrassment as it faded into memory. Truly, a season of growth.

 

* * *

 

“Everyone, where are we right now?”

 

“Incheon Land!”

 

Wrapping up a chaotic activity schedule, Spark visited an amusement park for the final self-produced content shoot of this activity period.

 

A group of flashy people wearing school uniforms and followed by cameras naturally drew all the attention. 

 

Wearing the same uniforms from our music video again was painfully embarrassing. I couldn’t help but wonder how I ended up like this at this age.

 

Meanwhile, Park Joowoo was drawing even more attention with his slouched shoulders.

 

“Joowoo, straighten up. You’re slouching.”

 

“It’s… a little embarrassing.”

 

“What is?”

 

When I looked at him in confusion, Park Joowoo tried to cover up the badge attached to his shirt pocket.

 

“I’m the only one wearing a middle school uniform…”

 

“The designs are the same; only the characters are different…”

 

Walking around like that would draw even more attention.

 

To prevent his posture from worsening, I handed Joowoo my backpack. Then I took Park Joowoo’s crossbody bag.

 

With the bag strap now covering the badge, Park Joowoo finally regained his smile.

 

However, Park Joowoo’s smile did not last long.

 

After riding the flower bud ride that went up and down, Park Joowoo returned looking pale as a ghost.

 

The original goal was to film the scene where the member who lost the mission looked very awkward among the children, but Park Joowoo’s expression looked so pitiful that this episode might become a ‘bullying one member’ special feature instead.

 

While the young children on the ride gleefully shouted for it to go higher, Park Joowoo desperately shook his head.

 

Perhaps feeling pity for him, the ride operator left Park Joowoo’s flower bud spinning gently at ground level.

 

“Joowoo hyung, you can’t handle rides?”

 

Kang Kiyeon asked, handing a water bottle to Park Joowoo, who had collapsed onto a bench.

 

He was someone who rarely pointed out the weaknesses of his elders, but he seemed genuinely startled by Park Joowoo’s pale face.

 

“Yeah….”

 

“You don’t like heights?”

 

“I guess so…”

 

Park Joowoo answered Choi Jeho’s words in a very depressed voice.

 

Jeong Seongbin consoled Park Joowoo.

 

“Don’t worry too much, Joowoo. Not everyone’s good with rides!”

 

“That’s right. I’m sure there’s something easier for you to ride!”

 

Lee Cheonghyeon enthusiastically chimed in. He was the only one wearing an animal ear headband and a mascot plushie that he’d apparently bought somewhere.

 

“Yeah. You’re already pulling your weight as a vocalist, so it’s fine if you’re not good with rides.”

 

Not wanting to see Park Joowoo appear so dejected on camera, I patted his shoulder and reassured him.

 

Only then did Park Joowoo seem to have relaxed a bit and got up from the bench again.

 

Right on cue, the PD stepped in.

 

“Alright, Spark! Shall we move to the next location now?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“The next ride is… Tornado!”

 

At that moment, Park Joowoo’s face turned as white as the resignation envelope I used to carry around.

 

* * *

 

The second round was a group mission.

 

Everyone had to perform a double-speed dance flawlessly in the middle of a crowd to earn tickets for the rides.

 

Naturally, Spark succeeded. Considering how much we had practiced, it wasn’t surprising.

 

Park Joowoo’s hands trembled as he stared at the spinning ride that resembled a giant pancake flipper…

 

‘Mr. Joowoo, if it’s too much for you, don’t feel pressured to do it!’

 

‘Yes, but… I’ll try it once. I want to ride it with the members!’

 

Despite the production team’s considerate offer, Park Joowoo mustered up his courage and stepped up. He wasn’t even my kid, but I couldn’t help feeling proud.

 

Up until this point, it was going well. That was until the ride started spinning.

 

The reason why the mishap happened could be summarized as follows.

 

First, this was only my second visit to an amusement park.

 

During the first visit, which was for a music video shoot, I only rode the tamer attractions to avoid being out of the camera frame.

 

In other words, today was my first time experiencing a more dynamic ride.

 

Second, I was a pedestrian through and through, so I never had the chance to enjoy speed.

 

Speed? On Seoul’s public transportation during a daily commute? You’d be lucky if it didn’t stop in the middle of the journey.

 

Lastly, I didn’t even watch the usual blockbuster movies.

 

So how should I put it… I wasn’t immune to the so-called ‘jump-scare’ situations.

 

That was why I didn’t know.

 

That I…

 

“Hyung, Iwol hyung! Are you okay?!”

 

…couldn’t handle rides at all.

 

* * *

 

The start was promising.

 

Even before the safety belt was secured, Jeong Seongbin sat to the left of the trembling Park Joowoo, and I took the seat to his right.

 

‘Me, sitting next to Joowoo?’

 

‘It’s comforting to have someone reliable next to you!’

 

…They said. So I followed Lee Cheonghyeon’s instructions and sat down

 

The tornado carrying six people, Lee Cheonghyeon, Kang Kiyeon, Jeong Seongbin, Park Joowoo, me, and Choi Jeho, began to move to the beat of some lively music.

 

And the moment the rotation gained speed.

 

‘Something feels off.’

 

I immediately sensed that this was a mistake.

 

It was fast. Way too fast. It felt like my organs were being spun apart in a centrifuge.

 

I thought I could handle a simple spinning ride that didn’t soar like a Viking ship.

 

Especially since the kids before us, all in their school uniforms, seemed to handle it just fine!

 

I could hear Park Joowoo groaning from next to me.

 

But just as I was trying to grab his hand as the one responsible in the right seat.

 

“Now we’re going higher and faster! Spin it up!”

 

The DJ’s enthusiastic announcement signaled the start of the ride’s chaos phase.

 

Us a ride supposed to feel like your heart’s about to stop?

 

Is it normal to feel your life threatened like this?

 

Is this… how it’s supposed to be?

 

“Hey, are you okay?”

 

I could hear Choi Jeho’s voice from next to me.

 

But I couldn’t answer.

 

Instead, the microphone only picked up my spinning, unending screams.

 

* * *

 

“Hyung, please have some water.”

 

“Thank you…”

 

With trembling hands, I took the water bottle that Jeong Seongbin offered me.

 

I felt like I’d just peeked through the gates of heaven before they slammed shut again. I almost met the system in the void.

 

“Are you okay, hyung…?”

 

“I’m not okay. My heart hurts.”

 

Even Park Joowoo, who was sitting next to me on the bench, was worried about me.

 

It seemed watching me nearly pass out next to him made him forget his own fears for a moment.

 

“Is it really okay for kids to ride these kind of rides?”

 

“Mr. Iwol, this ride is for anyone over 130cm.”

 

“Huh? I think you’d need to be at least 230 cm for it to be safe.”

 

Clutching my chest, I wobbled to my feet from the bench. My legs were still shaking.

 

“Oh dear, if this wears you out, the next one might be a challenge.”

 

“Huh? Don’t tell me we’re riding that next?!”

 

At the PD’s words, Lee Cheonghyeon’s eyes lit up, and his voice rose with excitement.

 

Beside him, Kang Kiyeon looked equally thrilled, his focus sharp as ever.

 

Yes, they were excited to come to the amusement park.

 

The two thrill-seekers were passionately explaining just how tall and terrifying the next rides were supposed to be.

 

Today, I wanted to lean on the maknaes who had bold hearts for support.

 

* * *

 

We rode a few more rides after that.

 

When it was time for the park’s famed K-Express, Joowoo and I were treated with consideration. We stayed back to guard the bags.

 

‘The rodeo show rider has been finally decided to be Mr. Iwol!’

 

‘C-Can I ride in hyung’s place?’

 

‘Your heart as the leader is admirable, but nope, you can’t!’

 

Because I had been distracted in the game, I ended up riding alone on the spinning lump of metal.

 

‘Iwol hyung, you just have to endure it for one minute! You can do it!’

 

‘Hyung, stay strong! There are kids watching next to you!’

 

‘Hyung, fighting…!’

 

‘Is it really necessary to cheer him on like this?’

 

‘Looking at that hyung’s face, I feel like I should cheer him on…’

 

Being stuck among children, unable to open my eyes, and groaning in discomfort while five members cheered me on was the second most humiliating experience of my life, right after dance practice. I almost told them all to shut up, but I held back with superhuman patience.

 

I didn’t even care how pathetic I’d look on screen anymore. When I got back to the dorm, I’d unplug the shared Wi-Fi router.

 

“Ugh…”

 

“You worked hard, hyung.”

 

Jeong Seongbin helped me up as I came down from the ride with trembling legs. Thanks to him, I managed to resist the urge to crawl on all fours in surrender.

 

“Phew, we’ve got plenty of footage now. Right?”

 

The PD across from me smiled with satisfaction. The writers nodded their heads.

 

Even though it felt like we’d been shooting for about 20 hours, a quick glance at my watch revealed only two hours had passed.

 

Did this make sense? It felt like I’d crossed River Styx 360 times.

 

If they’d gotten enough material in two hours, just how embarrassing must I have looked on camera? My spirits were in tatters.

 

The PD didn’t seem to care whether I was suffering or not. I wondered when I could ever become that professional. Truly admirable.

 

“This hyung has no focus in his eyes right now.”

 

“Someone get him some water.”

 

While Kang Kiyeon and Choi Jeho were saying something, the PD clapped their hands to grab everyone’s attention.

 

“We’re going to shoot a few natural cuts for the intro and the stinger video. You can think of the next hour as free time and enjoy yourselves!”

 

“Really?”

 

The members’ faces lit up. It seemed they’d been secretly disappointed to skip some attractions for filming.

 

“Ah, Mr. Iwol, feel free to rest if you’re too tired!”

 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll do my best!”

 

For a moment, I almost forgot my role and got excited. Calm down, heart.

 

That was how Spark was divided into those who wanted to enjoy the attractions and those who wanted to enjoy the food court.

 

Choi Jeho seemed reluctant to disrupt the younger members’ fun, but Lee Cheonghyeon insisted that rides were best enjoyed in even numbers and dragged him along. I was impressed with how he looked out for even the socially awkward senior, so I handed over some extra pocket money I’d won from the game.

 

Park Joowoo and I enjoyed a leisurely break.

 

We shared some beaded ice cream—though he wasn’t allowed a single bite until I captured his best angles on camera—and looked for some strong-looking bubble guns.

 

We also rode the carousel. We rode it because It was a scene you couldn’t get from the thrill addicts, but I couldn’t forget the warm gazes the camera directors sent us outside the ride.

 

As the break neared its end, we sat on a bench, catching our breath and waiting for the others to return.

 

The attraction group also returned to the bench we had agreed upon right on time.

 

While Joowoo briefly stepped away to the restroom, they were animatedly explaining what rides had messed up their hair.

 

“So, everyone’s here now?”

 

“Joowoo is still…”

 

I glanced at the place where Park Joowoo had gone. Then the PD spoke again.

 

“No, everyone’s here.”

 

“Yes?”

 

We turned our heads to the PD at the same time.

 

“From now on, your mission is to find your friend Mr. Joowoo, who is eagerly waiting for you!”