A lonely Shadow

Seeing Sunny break down in her presence was quite unsettling, she knew how deeply Sunny hated her, the wall of hatred that existed between the two served as an invisible barrier that halted all her attempts to pull him into a hug which she felt he desperately needed.

Her indecision, however, went unnoticed by Sunny as he continued speaking. Despite his emotional outburst, his face continued to have the smile on it that Nephis had become familiar with, nothing about the smile portrayed Sunny's genuine emotions, in fact, from afar, Nephis was quite sure one could fool themselves into thinking Sunny was happy.

"What an odious, vile, creature I am. Laying in the arms of a woman who betrayed me who I intend to kill, and I can't do anything about it. I can't protect anyone or anything at all! What sort of sad life have I lived!" Sunny exclaimed, a laugh quickly escaping from his lips, Nephis pulled him closer, allowing him to rest his head on her chest as his laughs raged on further.

Despite that, Sunny made no attempts in pushing her away. He didn't even move, his body remaining still and compliant throughout the entire ordeal. "I'm so pathetic, where is my hatred! Why aren't I trying to kill you!" Sunny groaned, his voice lowering as he continued to laugh at himself.

Nephis pushed him backwards, allowing him to make eye contact with her as she placed a finger on his lips. "That's enough from you. All this self-deprecating talk is only going to weaken your resolve, look at yourself for a second. Did the people in the red colosseum make you suffer? Yes, but you survived! All the time's you've suffered, all the time's you've been forced to endure, you've always come out the winner! Don't sell yourself short!"

She took her hands off his lips, forcing her forehead against his as her eyes were only a few inches away from his own. His breath tickled her skin as she enjoyed the momentary sensation of Sunny's smooth cool skin. "You don't need any big dreams, you don't need any dreams of grandeur, your dreams are your own! Don't ever feel inadequate because of what the world throws at you, you're a winner, you're a survivor!"

Pausing, she pulled her head away from Sunny's as she let a sombre smile plaster itself across her face. "After all, are you not the man that will kill me?" Sunny nodded weakly; he had words to say but his mind was too tired to say it. So Nephis spoke in his stead.

"If you wish to kill me, keep your head high! You're Sunless, nobody I've ever met has done what you have! Take pride in your name and who you are!" Her voice was gentle yet firm, Sunny could only nod in response as he took a second to think over Nephis words. His mind was going through internal turmoil, her words of comfort served to help him through the worst of it, but only open old wounds.

The sudden silence that settled itself between the two felt Nephis feeling embarrassed, a slight blush made its way onto her face as she raised herself to her feet and turned around to leave. Sunny's hand shot out and took hers in his own, turning around, Nephis could see Sunny shaking his head, his smile had disappeared from his face, yet his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"Don't go, not yet." Sunny mumbled. Nephis quickly turned around. Studying Sunny's expression before seating herself down once more. She didn't say anything, nor did she let go of his hands, absentmindedly running her fingers over his knuckles as she admired how soft his hands were.

"Why are you like this?" Sunny's voice was low yet sharp, his eyes were not focused on her, rather she wasn't even sure if they were focused on anything at all, yet the sharp and dangerous look in his eyes remained present as always. Nephis knew exactly what he was referring to, she had no answer, and so she chose to let him speak.

"Why do you show me all this affection, only to abandon me when I need it the most? Why didn't you put me first! Risk yourself for me! Risk your dreams for me! I'd have done it for you, I know I would, in a heartbeat! Why are you making it so hard for me to hate you?"

Each word that came out of Sunny's mouth felt more like a physical blow than words, Nephis had no room to respond, after all, what would she say? 'You didn't matter to me as much as my revenge?' although at the time that was surely true, thinking it and saying it were different matters.

Now, she didn't know how she felt. Seeing Sunny again made her question everything, the reasons for her revenge, the path she had taken, who she was. Each time she slept, her dreams were haunted by the look in Sunny's eyes as she called his true name, binding them to one another for the rest of their lives.

Nephis felt sickening guilt permeate through her body, there wasn't anything she could do about how Sunny felt. No way to prove she had changed; her words would no longer be sufficient for a case as monumental as theirs. Instinctively, without Nephis even noticing, her lips parted, she had begun speaking before her mind conjured up words to say.

"I was selfish, I was weak, and I agree with you. I'm scum. If that happened to me, I don't doubt I would have killed whoever betrayed me in such a manner, and that's why I don't expect you to forgive me. I'm trying to change; I'm trying to be better so something like that never repeats itself."

Sunny's eyes flashed with anger as he shifted under his covers, his lips curled into a vicious snarl as he locked eyes with Nephis once more. "How am I supposed to believe you, what makes this any different than all your other speeches that you fed to all those pathetic bastards who fell for your lies in the forgotten shore!"

Shifting his weight, Sunny tried to stand to his feet, but his body didn't listen to his minds commands. He ended up falling on top of Nephis, pushing her off her seat as he sat mounted on her. She was taller than him which allowed Sunny to finally see her at eye level as the rage and madness that lurked within his eyes flared to life once more.

"Tell me! Tell me why I should believe you! Why should I abandon this hatred of mine that's kept me living for two years! I've never been able to protect anything my entire life, I've lost it all more times than I can count, but I'm not losing this!" His hands remained firmly planted on top of hers as he stared her in the eye.

His breathes came out in tired pants as low pangs of pain flashed through his head, the effects of his panic attack hadn't completely worn off despite his best efforts. Sunny's eyes bored into Nephis own, he awaited an answer in baited breathes, a part of him, one he didn't want to acknowledge, one he supressed with all his might as he waded his way through every day was hoping that Nephis gave him a proper answer. Some of him wanted to think she'd changed.

Nephis expression was impassive, her face didn't betray the thousands of thoughts that flashed through her head as Sunny's pitch-black locks tickled the edges of her face as he stared down at her. Instead of replying, her hands shifted away from beneath his.

A puzzled expression overtook Sunny's expression as she firmly grabbed him by the face and met his lips with her own. Sunny's eyes widened, his mind was so frozen he didn't even attempt to resist as Nephis enjoyed the soft and warm sensation his lips offered her. Finally, Nephis pulled backwards, staring Sunny in the eye with the blazing passion that never escaped her eyes.

"I know I can't convince you with words, you're too smart to merely be convinced by what I have to say. I've given you enough reason to think every word I'm saying is a lie, so let my actions decide what you think of me."

Sunny was confused, a thousand thoughts per second flashed through his brain as his mind went into overdrive. However, a simple singular question escaped his lips, even if he wanted to, which he wasn't even sure if he did. How could she ever expect a slave to not only trust, but love it's slaver?

"Do you think I can love you, while being your slave no less?" Sunny asked, his tone more curious than mocking as his eyes remained fixed on Nephis. Nephis nodded in reply as she offered him a smile, it was warm and kind, attempting to shine a beam of light through the suffocating darkness that overwhelmed his soul.

"I don't expect you to love me. But it isn't impossible, and even if it is, if it's you. I'm sure you can do it. After all, you've done the impossible more than once."