Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols

When I asked for the phone, Choi Jeho hesitated before reluctantly handing it over.

 

As soon as I put the speaker to my ear, I was greeted by the fierce nagging of a middle-aged woman that echoed in my eardrum.

 

— See, didn’t I tell you to start cooking at your dorm? When Mom told you to start learning how to make side dishes, you didn’t even listen! I should’ve tied you up in the kitchen and taught you back then.

 

In a flash, I found myself listening, almost entranced, to how well Choi Miho, Jeho’s sister, could cook chicken nuggets on her own, while Choi Jeho, at the age of twenty-one, was still fumbling through life.

 

Thanks to the clarity of the Mother’s voice, Choi Jeho, who was also listening in on the whole conversation, turned bright red with embarrassment.

 

Lee Cheonghyeon was biting his lips next to him, trying to hold back laughter.

 

I had to step in and deal with this situation before either Choi Jeho or Lee Cheonghyeon’s face exploded.

 

I spoke to his mother as energetically as I could, trying to look like a bright, sociable, and polite young man.

 

“Hello, Ma’am! This is Kim Iwol, I am in the same group as Jeho!”

 

Never did I imagine a day would come when I’d call him by his first name. Kim Iwol, you’ve lost all your pride.

 

Thankfully, the mother reacted enthusiastically before I had time to feel any self-loathing.

 

― Oh, dear! Of course, I know our Iwol! Did that rascal Jeho dump the kimchi pancakes on you and run away?

 

“Oh, it’s not like that. I’m sorry for contacting you so suddenly when you must be busy.”

 

― What would this ahjumma be busy with? I’m not busy at all.

 

With that, she passed down the legendary recipe of her kimchi pancakes. 

 

At the same time, she didn’t forget to scold her immature son every now and then.

 

― Iwol, you must have had a hard time taking care of Jeho. The hyungs need to be more reliable, but our child has never been really like that, has he?

 

— Has Jeho started talking more at the dorm lately? I’ve been telling him to be gentler to his dongasengs, but who knows if he ever listens.

 

Most of the conversation was along those lines. She said it so often that I started to wonder if it was some magical incantation for making the perfect kimchi pancakes.

 

Still, how could I possibly speak ill of someone standing right in front of me?

 

So, I eagerly said, ‘Oh, Jeho’s doing really well, ma’am!’

 

Then Choi Jeho looked at me with a dirty look. Did he think I liked saying that?

 

The call ended with the Mother insisting that the pancakes should be eaten fresh off the griddle and not left to cool.

 

― It would be nice if this ahjumma could do this for you. Next time, this ahjumma will do it herself.

 

“No, really, ma’am. It’s already such a big help that you’re sharing the recipe with us!”

 

“Why are you coming here while working? When you’re done, just rest.”

 

Choi Jeho added curtly. He sure had a way with words.

 

The call ended with the Mother telling Choi Jeho, ‘Why can’t you be at least half as polite as Iwol?’

 

As for the recipe—what can I say? It was a tremendous success.

 

Jeong Seongbin’s homemade kimchi also played a key role in that success. Not only that, but Seongbin even took a photo of the pancakes, planning to send it to Choi Jeho’s mother as thanks.

 

“Everyone seems… harmonious.”

 

I quickly finished the kimchi pancake that had been served to me before it got cold. It was a rich, greasy afternoon.

 

* * *

 

What did idols usually do during their inactive period?

 

I wouldn’t know. Becoming an idol had never been my dream, not even once.

 

However, when it came to what Spark did during their inactive period, I knew all too well, despite it being a completely useless piece of information.

 

≫ At this point, have they just disappeared from the face of the earth?

 

Not a single sighting.

 

└ It’s been ten days since they said they were going home… still no news…

 

≫ [Sighting story]  I saw Choi Jeho at a barbecue restaurant today.

 

He seemed to have come to eat with his family

 

I wanted to ask for an autograph, but he was grilling meat while getting scolded from both sides, so I felt sorry and just pretended not to notice…

 

└ You’re a true fanㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

They did absolutely nothing. N-o-t-h-i-n-g.

 

The only time there were any sightings was when they went out with their families, but it was common knowledge among fans that they were either holed up in the practice room or cooped up at home.

 

Not wandering around doing dumb stuff? That was good and all.

 

But I also knew how eagerly fans awaited any news or content from their idols.

 

‘Assistant Manager Kim. What are the Spark members doing these days?’

 

‘Yes, I heard they got a vacation after their activities ended a while ago.’

 

It was painful to report on Spark’s vacation while I hadn’t even gotten mine.

 

But the sad conversation didn’t end there.

 

‘What’s this ‘content’ thing? My kid keeps whining at the dinner table every day about how there’s no ‘content’ from their favorite idol, and it’s driving me nuts.’

 

‘Usually, it refers to news or announcements about celebrities…’

 

‘Well, Assistant Manager Kim, gather a few of those, organize them, and send them to my email. I don’t need a lot, so just three for each member should do.’

 

He ordered me to find out the latest news about them that even the fans couldn’t find. All because his daughter seemed depressed.

 

A fan feeling lonely because there was no news of her favorite idol?

 

That could make sense. Wasn’t it because they cared about the person they liked? This was a completely natural phenomenon.

 

But a boss asking their employee to compile idol updates because his ‘daughter was feeling lonely because there was no news about her favorite idol’?

 

Shouldn’t such bosses face severe punishment? And along with Spark, who were practically hiding under a rock?

 

I was outraged at how lax the legal system in South Korea was, and with just a mouse in hand, I had to swim through the vast sea of information. Until 3 a.m. that night.

 

Still, I’d learned that having an abundance of updates was better than having none at all, and I convinced the company to keep producing content during our inactive period.

 

“Ha…”

 

I couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh as I read through the content proposals the guys had written and submitted.

 

Name: Choi Jeho

 

Content: 4 dance medleys

 

Name: Park Joowoo

 

Content: Cooking vlog

 

Name: Kang Kiyeon

 

Content: Learning choreography for Hellas’ new song

 

That was the state of their proposals.

 

I had generously asked them to write down just their dum***s names and content ideas. And they still couldn’t even do that right?

 

Where are the song lists? And Joowoo, you’ve barely mastered stir-fried bracken!

 

I may not have a perfect grasp of the fans’ minds, but I’m pretty sure they want to watch you dance, not learn it from you.

 

Lee Cheonghyeon’s plan was a little better than these three.

 

Name: Lee Cheonghyeon

 

Content: Making a Mini Goldberg Device! (Fans seemed really interested!!!)

 

The only problem was that it didn’t seem like it could fill a 20-minute video.

 

Mini Goldberg… If you’re talented enough to make something like that,  then design a kit and hand it over to me. I’ll put it in the fan club welcome kit.

 

Of course, there was one who took it seriously.

 

Our well-meaning but not-so-reliable leader, Jeong Seongbin.

 

But this guy had a fundamental problem.

 

Content: Reading today’s news (one story each from the categories of society, world, IT, etc.)

 

‘100% of Jeong Seongbin’s fans would fall asleep watching this.’

 

I knew why Seongbin had an interest in this kind of content.

 

It was because he had spent his teenage years focusing on something other than basic education, and he had seen many idols go through controversies over basic academic ability.

 

Perhaps afraid that he might end up in the same situation, Jeong Seongbin never neglected his studies. He even took an interest in current events and trivia from all sorts of fields.

 

However, that didn’t mean I would allow this content.

 

If you set yourself up as the smart one too early, one careless slip of the tongue would ruin that image.

 

There was knowledge you’d naturally pick up as you grew older, and it was not a bad idea to build an impression of being well-rounded later in life.

 

So, after reviewing all five proposals, what was my conclusion?

 

‘We are thoroughly f*cked.’

 

Honestly, I had to admit. As a way of repenting for pushing my own opinions on these guys, I had tried to let it slide this time 

 

With my recently frayed nerves and the burden of guilt weighing on me, I hadn’t dared to ask them to do much. 

 

At best, I’d just show up with a bottle of water to offer some support on the day they filmed their content.

 

But what now? Five proposals filled with dance, stir-fried bracken, and news articles?

 

“Guys.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Each of you, grab a notebook and be back here in one minute.”

 

There was no way I was going to let them waste MiTube’s data storage with content like that.

 

You guys are all staying up tonight.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, I’ve already come up with fourteen ideas, and it’s still not enough?”

 

“Yeah, not enough. Come back when you’ve got twenty.”

 

At my words, Choi Jeho frowned and turned away. He seemed to be mumbling something to himself, but since it was probably curses, I wasn’t curious.

 

I had all five members sitting in front of the table, squeezing their brains for ideas, when the phone in the dorm rang.

 

Unfortunately for them, they were under the punishment of not being allowed to leave until they came up with twenty ideas, so I picked up the call.

 

“Yes, this is Kim Iwol.”

 

The caller was the manager.

 

— Oh, Iwol? How do you always have such good timing?

 

It wasn’t that my timing was good—I’d just whipped the guys into shape.

 

‘The planning team said they’d start prepping for the next album, so is it them? Or maybe the video team?’

 

I quietly waited for the next words, trying to guess which team might be calling me today.

 

But the response I got was unexpected.

 

– Iwol, you got an offer to appear on the radio!

 

What?

 

— They specifically asked for you. How about it? You’ll do it, right?

 

No, who exactly is ‘they’, and why did they specifically pick me…?!